Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
at the current time, some country's have majority of young individuals than older people, the drawback for this situations is that majority of young adults can be unemployed and advantages would increase in population. i believe advantages does outweigh the disadvantages
on the one hand, the large number of younger adults meant large number of applications for significant jobs, and if the government is not paying much attention to the this unbalance ratio of nation and not creating enough job opportunities it could lead to rejections of mass papulation of young individuals. for example india has the world's second large nation but the rate of unemployment is very high. however i believe employment is not much bigger issue but the existence of nation is.
on the other hand, young individuals get married and birth kids, which contribute to the overall population of the nation, and save country from major crisis of decline in population. for example japan has anxious about it age unbalance in the population, majority are older and very significant number is left of young individuals additionally if there are no young adults who will run the country the older people can do jobs that require physical strength. that is way i believe advantage does out weigh the disadvantages.
in conclusion, the disadvantage in the large number of young individuals can lead to distress of unemployment among youth if government is not make necessary measurements however advantages of this situation are more significant with increase in overall population and creating large workforce.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, and a clear position is maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is limited. While the mention of India and Japan provides some context, the arguments remain somewhat superficial. For instance, the point about older people needing to perform physically demanding jobs is not logically sound or well-explained. The response covers all parts of the task, but the depth of analysis is insufficient to reach a higher band. To improve, you should expand on your points with more logical reasoning and clearer examples that directly support your central argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is often disjointed. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'on the one hand' and 'in conclusion', but they are sometimes applied mechanically or incorrectly, such as the transition 'that is way' (intended as 'that is why'). Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences is sometimes interrupted by grammatical errors. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one to create a smoother, more cohesive argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher score. There is frequent repetition of basic terms like 'young individuals', 'young adults', and 'nation'. Some word choices are imprecise or non-standard, such as 'birth kids' (instead of 'give birth to children') and 'make necessary measurements' (instead of 'take necessary measures'). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated vocabulary and occasional errors in collocation limit the score. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic collocations and topic-specific terminology would significantly improve your performance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but grammatical accuracy is a significant issue. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some country's have'), article usage, and punctuation. Many sentences are poorly constructed, which occasionally hinders readability. For example, 'the drawback for this situations is that majority of young adults can be unemployed' contains multiple errors. While the meaning is usually understandable, the high frequency of errors across basic sentence structures prevents a higher score. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of plural forms before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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