Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, population of young adults compared with older people has become increasingly common. Although this trend presents certain drawbacks, I believe that its benefits are far more significant.

On the one hand, the main disadvantage of growing population of young adult is lack of job seeking. To elaborate, the job vacancies are reducing now a days because of numerous application applied to the company and they are looking for experienced candidate even for the small work. For example, in India, 8 lakhs students are graduating every year and they are searching for technical jobs. But the companies can afford only right candidate for their projects, resulting in competition of job hiring are increased for younger generation.

On the other hand, the advantages of young adults population are considerably grater, particularly regarding in usage of technologies. This is because people are looking forward for setting a clear vision to build a new company. They are more energetic compared to older generation. Youths are more aware about the usage of technology and concern about the environment. So they are identifying the problem that facing by many people and give an optimised solution in a very quick way. Also they are creating a new startup using the solution with the help of older people guidance. Furthermore, countries which have large amount of younger population benefit from rapid growth of an economy and build new innovative ideas for the nation. Thus, the positive impact clearly offsets any initial drawbacks.

In conclusion, despite drawbacks such as high demand for jobs, the advantages of younger population clearly outweigh the disadvantages. Therefore, steps should be taken to guide the younger people in the right way with the help of Elderly people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages of a young population outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant, such as the economic benefits of innovation and the challenges of job competition. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding job competition is supported by a specific example from India, which is good, but the explanation of the advantages is slightly repetitive and could benefit from more precise examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the position, ensuring the task requirements are met.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with a distinct introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Furthermore', and 'Thus' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences could be smoother. Referencing is generally clear, though some phrasing, such as 'the job vacancies are reducing now a days', slightly disrupts the logical progression of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'optimised solution' and 'innovative ideas'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'lack of job seeking' (instead of 'lack of job opportunities') and 'competition of job hiring are increased'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the argument. A wider range of academic vocabulary would be needed for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is consistently clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the population of young adults'), subject-verb agreement ('competition... are increased'), and word forms ('grater' instead of 'greater'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor issues with sentence construction. The majority of the sentences are understandable, but the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching the 7.0 band, as the control over complex structures is not yet consistent.

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