Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the recent timings, many countries population has been increased in number of young adults as compare to the older people.

Firstly, without a doubt the major increment in the young population will bring immense changes in the development of the economy. As the youngster are more energetic, motivated and enthusiastic in term of handwork and delivering without delays. Younger people are healthy and fit to participate in building economy strong.

Secondly, older people once younger and already had contributed in the development of the country in the past. There are many advantages of having elderly people at your home. As they can help in upbringing the little ones when parents are on work.

For example: a women has a child at home. She is desperate to join back her work due to financial circumstances. On the other hand, she cannot afford the day care expenses. If there are older ones at home in healthy conditions and can take care of children. this is the advantage of having someone at the home.

Conclusion, in my opinion both have there own benefits in term of both sides

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you identify the topic, the discussion is underdeveloped. You mention the economic benefits of young adults but provide only brief, general statements. The second paragraph shifts focus to the benefits of elderly people, but you do not clearly state whether the advantages of a young population outweigh the disadvantages as requested by the prompt. The conclusion is also too brief and fails to provide a clear summary or a definitive position. To improve, you must expand your arguments with more detailed explanations and specific examples, and ensure you directly answer the 'outweigh' aspect of the question.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay uses basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' to organize ideas, which provides a rudimentary structure. However, the progression of ideas is disjointed. The transition between the economic benefits of youth and the domestic benefits of the elderly is abrupt and lacks a logical connection to the main prompt. Paragraphing is present, but the paragraphs are underdeveloped and lack internal cohesion. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall flow is hindered by the brevity of the text. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph develops a single, clear idea that supports your overall argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas. You rely on basic terms such as 'younger people', 'older people', and 'advantages'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'in the recent timings' (which is non-standard) and 'delivering without delays'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and precision prevents a higher score. To improve, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary related to demographics and economics, and pay attention to standard collocations and idiomatic expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'many countries population has been increased', 'youngster are more energetic', and 'a women has a child'. These errors, including subject-verb agreement and article usage, are noticeable throughout the text. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to distract the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of plural and singular nouns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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