Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In the contemporary time, there is increase in a large number of young adults in some countries and the number of older people is less. I believe that youngsters are the future of nation so increasing in there population is more beneficial, but having older people is also important because they are more experienced.
On the one hand, adult play an significant role in every sector like technology. healthcare and finance. They have the fresh ideas and innovative mindset. Adult people can understand the current trend and they can adept the things more quickly. For example, large companies always hired the new fresher or recruitment when they are in need of change. Youngsters have very goal oriented mindset and this can lead to multiple new things.
On the other hand, having the hand of old experienced people is also important rather than compleatly lost them. As they have working more longer in any industries so they can easily overcome from any situation. For example, prime mister of India is Narendra Modi, at such old age he handle whole country very nicely. Older people give best advice to adults. Hence everyone says that having a grand parents is important in every households.
In conclusion, having more traditional approch prople is important in this modem time. But adults are more innovative, fresh mindset and are future of the nation so i believed advantage outweigh the disadvantage.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a young population, and it clearly states a position. However, the essay is under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of the arguments. While the ideas are relevant, they are somewhat underdeveloped. For instance, the point about older people being experienced is supported by a single example, but the overall discussion lacks the necessary elaboration to fully explore the implications of the demographic shift. To improve, you should expand on your points with more detailed explanations and ensure you meet the minimum word count requirement to fully develop your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'having the hand of old experienced people'. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'adept the things' (instead of 'adapt to things'), 'compleatly lost them', and 'prime mister' (spelling error). You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'innovative mindset' and 'goal oriented', which is positive. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and pay closer attention to spelling and standard collocations to ensure your meaning is conveyed accurately and naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'there is increase in a large number', 'adult play an significant role', and 'having a grand parents'. These errors, while not always impeding communication, are frequent enough to be noticeable. There are also issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and verb forms. Incorporating a wider variety of complex structures with greater accuracy will also help raise your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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