Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Now a days, the inhabitants of some nations includes a relatively a great number of youngsters , compared with the number of elderly people. Growth of number of mature people brings positive outcomes in the development of economy, education and the progress of nations.
The significant number of increase of young adults helps to develop the country . As they are more active in physically and mentally so they can bring development in every aspects of their life through education. They can work hard for bring substantial development in the country also. The educated young people can invent new things which can set for betterment of the community. Now plenty of research are done by young scientists of different countries for progressing the world.
Though there are huge positive aspects of increasing of young adults but we can not deny the contribution of elderly individuals in development of a nation. People learn from experience .Older person has much experience and patience than younger which help them to tackle the situation. However , older people can not work like before how they used to work in young age. So, government needs to arrange fund for giving health benefits to living expense of older people. Sometimes it could be pressure for stakeholder. And people take them as burden.
At the end , None of the contribution of older and younger can disagree. But the advanted of younger
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay addresses the topic of young versus elderly populations, the conclusion is incomplete, cutting off mid-sentence. The position is generally clear, but the arguments are somewhat superficial and lack sufficient supporting examples. To improve, you must ensure you complete the essay and provide more depth for each point. The current length prevents a full exploration of the advantages and disadvantages, leading to an underdeveloped response that does not fully address all parts of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the text. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Though there are' and 'However', but they are sometimes used mechanically or with grammatical errors. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the lack of a finished conclusion disrupts the overall flow of the argument. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects logically to the next, leading to a cohesive final argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'significant number of increase' and 'bring development' are imprecise. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'inhabitants of some nations includes' and 'advanted of younger'. To improve, you should aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and collocations. For example, instead of 'bring development', use 'foster economic growth' or 'drive national progress'. Expanding your range to include more sophisticated, topic-specific vocabulary will help you move into higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'Now a days', 'more active in physically and mentally', and 'older person has much experience'. Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent, as seen in 'inhabitants... includes'. Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure often feels repetitive. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and refining your use of articles and prepositions. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures while ensuring accuracy will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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