Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

At the present time , the population of some countries have a relatively large number of young adults as compared to number of older people. In my view the advantages of this large number of young adults significantly outweigh the disadvantages .

Firstly, the advantages of having young adults is the fact that tasks given to them are done at a much faster rate and efficiently as compared to the older people. Mistakes and error may occur less when the task is given to the young adults as they work efficiently and finish the given work before deadline and also efficient due to active cooperation with the staff members and team which leads to improved quality of work and maintains smooth flow of tasks. In addition to that young adults are able to adapt to changes at a much faster rate which enables them to improve over the years and work on bettering there skill set.

Secondly, young adults have a much more deep understanding about the new technology introduced which enables them to explore and learn how to maximise the advantage of new technology which makes them get their work done much faster and efficiently. Furthermore, young adults ability to adapt to changes allows

them to get creative with ideas and which leads to the generation of new innovations and improvements that can be done, moreover new innovations and ideas also lead to more job opportunities, businesses and new skillset to be born.

In conclusion, due the relatively large number of young adults in some countries have much more advantages which completely outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. The essay focuses almost exclusively on workplace efficiency and technology, neglecting other potential societal impacts of a young population, such as education, social services, or long-term economic sustainability. While the position is clear, the arguments are not fully extended or balanced, as the disadvantages are mentioned in the introduction and conclusion but never actually discussed in the body paragraphs. This lack of counter-argument or balanced discussion limits the depth of the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition to that', and 'Furthermore' are used to link sentences and paragraphs. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the sentence structure is fragmented ('due the relatively large number... have much more advantages'). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the main points, but the overall flow could be improved by varying the linking phrases and ensuring that each paragraph has a more cohesive internal structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There is significant repetition of words like 'efficiently', 'young adults', and 'advantages'. While the student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'innovations', 'skill set'), the phrasing is often simplistic. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'bettering there skill set' (should be 'their') and 'due the relatively large number' (missing 'to'). To improve, the student should focus on using synonyms and more sophisticated collocations to avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the population... have') and awkward phrasing ('Mistakes and error may occur less'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in preposition usage and word forms. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of these minor errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. The student should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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