Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In today's evolving world the population has increased. At the today's time, the population in some nations add a large number of young adults, while with the number of older people. This practice has some disadvantages. I believe that the disadvantages outweigh advantages because it increase in the population was create many problems.

One dimerits is that people can do not gate the job oppertunities. Many individuals don't know much about if the population had increased they create a much of problems. they know about how many child born in their family. if above 2 child there was a big problems in some nations.

Another drawbacks is that if population was increased that can create a big problems. Such as, less job oppertunities, unemployement was highly increased in some nations. In addition, people can know about if population was increased that create a much problem's. Hence, it has been more critical of younger adult's population has been increasing in this morden era. However, in recent era the youngsters population was highly increased in a complicated for others. The Government should understand and solve this problems for a lifetime.

In conclusion, although there are most drawbacks of younger adults population increased. I believe the disadvantages outweigh advantages. Public learn about this problem. Moreover, it makes more open and allows people to better understand how this problems increased. In future, it will be The some Nations Goverenment should add a new rules about population and new schemes release to control population, if population will increase that will create a new problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. However, the development of ideas is very limited and repetitive. The arguments regarding job opportunities and unemployment are mentioned but not clearly explained or supported with specific examples. The essay lacks a cohesive argument, and the focus shifts between general population growth and the specific issue of a high proportion of young adults. The ideas are under-developed, and the response fails to provide a nuanced discussion of the topic, resulting in a superficial treatment of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often unclear. Cohesive devices are used, but they are frequently misused or repetitive (e.g., 'Another drawbacks is that', 'In addition', 'Hence'). There is a lack of logical flow between sentences, and the referencing is often confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. The use of linking words is mechanical and does not always serve to connect ideas logically, which hinders the overall coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'dimerits' instead of 'demerits', 'gate' instead of 'get', and 'morden' instead of 'modern'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas, and the repetition of basic words like 'problems', 'increased', and 'population' restricts the quality of the writing. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response relies on simple sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are consistently marred by grammatical errors. There are frequent mistakes in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it increase in the population was create'), tense usage, and pluralisation (e.g., 'much problem's'). Punctuation is also problematic, with unnecessary apostrophes and run-on sentences. While the meaning is generally discernible, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar significantly impacts the clarity and professional tone of the writing.

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