Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent years, the population of many nations have relatively higher number of young people compared with elder people.This essay believes that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages because elder individuals have an higher experience and they could help to care for their people.
One of the main disadvantage of having more young people is the least experience. The old generation people have more knowledge and skills compared with young generation because they are experienced, and they could share their knowledge to the families such as how to build and maintain relationship with people because it is beneficial to grow your business networks. For example, many businesses are depend on their relationships with people.
The advantage of having older people is that they could help to care for their loveable. This is to say that in some families, both parents do the work, and because of that they do not able to focus on their children. Some parents hire a baby seater for caring, but if elder people is there at home they do not have to hire anybody. For instance, in India, many families who have both parents working, they tend to give their children to their grandparents for caring. Therefore, I believe that the lower number of older people is a disadvantage for many families.
In conclusion, I totally believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages because elder people have an higher experience, they could share this knowledge to their families and they could help to care for their family member.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt, but the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you clearly state that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, the arguments provided are repetitive and focus heavily on the benefits of older people rather than a balanced discussion of the demographic shift. The prompt asks about the impact of a large young population, but your essay focuses almost exclusively on the value of the elderly. To improve, ensure you explore the potential advantages of a young workforce, such as innovation or economic growth, before refuting them. The conclusion is consistent with your position, but the overall depth of analysis is insufficient for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'This is to say that' and 'Therefore' are used, but the logical flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'care for their people' or 'care for their loveable', which makes the intended meaning slightly ambiguous. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'elder people' (should be 'the elderly' or 'older generations'), 'loveable' (which is not used correctly here), and 'baby seater' (should be 'babysitter'). The repetition of basic phrases like 'many families' and 'have more knowledge' limits the sophistication of the writing. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to demographics and social structures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You frequently make errors with articles ('an higher experience'), subject-verb agreement ('many businesses are depend'), and verb forms ('they do not able to focus'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of modal verbs. Proofreading for small grammatical slips, such as missing articles or incorrect pluralisation, would significantly enhance the quality of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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