Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this contemporary epoch, undeniably, the proportation of inhabitans are gradually skyrocketing in all over the world. Considering this , in these days and ages, the population across the world have a larger figure of young adults with the comparison of older people. This essay will discuss the pros associated with this and also assure that the benefits outweigh its drawbacks.

To begin with , there are numerous pros of having a larger numbers of youth . Firstly , the youth of this generation are quit intelligent with the having of multi-tasking skills . To elaborate , youth have an ability to tackle the issue with skills including communication skills, adaptibility, creativity and many more. As a result , they become more active and easily get white-collar job in all over the world . Another is , youth contribution leads to economy growth. In the field of engineering or Artifical intellegence and machine learning , people will get higher amount of remuneration and cultivate the youth interest . Consequently , country economy will grow faster and future job prospect will be safe . For instance, many country is gaining rapid growth in term of economy as highest number of middle-age people are currently working in every sectors.

Another advantage of this trend is , in modern days , the contribution in latest technology of youth is more as they can catch every concept easily and identify the error. To explicate , young adults are very active in social media. So, they always utilize the application like chatgpt and claud for determine the mistakes . As a result , the not only solve the concern but also innovating some ideas in every sector . Last but not the least, in these generation, young adults are highly educated and gained higher amount of practical knowlege in early days . To elaborate, young people already developed their skills at tertiary level as of project related to their stream are very effective. To illustrate , many young people have on-hand experience and time management skills during their internship which leads to enhace their critical thinking.

To recapitulate , even though older individuals are needed for controlling the nations as young people lack of experience which can mislead the nation . I firmly believe that , the involvement of young members in our society is good as young citizens having an Task-management skills , great efforts toward economic development, good problem-solving ability and gained more practical knowledge.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of a young population and briefly acknowledging the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention economic growth and technological skills, the arguments lack depth and specific, well-explained examples. The mention of 'older people' is limited to a brief acknowledgement in the conclusion, which makes the comparison requested by the prompt feel unbalanced. To improve, ensure that both sides of the argument are explored with more analytical detail rather than just listing general benefits. Your position is clear, but the supporting evidence needs to be more robust and logically connected to the core question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Firstly', 'Another is', and 'To recapitulate' to link your points. However, some of these transitions feel mechanical or are used incorrectly, such as 'Another is' or 'in these generation'. Additionally, some sentences are disjointed, and the flow between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the punctuation—specifically the inconsistent spacing before commas—distracts from the overall coherence. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words will help your writing flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting to use topic-specific terms like 'remuneration', 'white-collar', and 'tertiary level'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'proportation of inhabitans', 'cultivate the youth interest', and 'gained higher amount of practical knowlege'. Some phrases are also non-standard, such as 'in these days and ages'. While your meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in spelling and word formation prevent the vocabulary from reaching a higher band. Focus on learning the correct collocations for the words you use and proofreading for common spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there is a high frequency of grammatical errors. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('the proportation of inhabitans are', 'many country is gaining'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing ('with the comparison of older people'). Punctuation is also problematic, with consistent spacing errors before commas and periods. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain errors that make the writing feel unpolished. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your sentence construction is grammatically sound before attempting more complex structures.

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