Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In this contemporary era, young adults represents an important demographic group in a country. In some nations, the population of young people is comparatively more than those of older individuals. I believe that the benefits of this trend are more significant for a country's development than its potential drawbacks.
On the one hand, the major merit of this trend is that younger adults are more physically and mentally efficient in case of innovation and creation. As young individuals can develop new ideas and are aware of new technologies. For instance, at the time of pandemic COVID-19, a young adult had discovered the new vaccination. Therefore, young generation have ability to develop new innovations in every domain such as healthcare, technology and environment, which eventually foster the economic dynamism of a country. Moreover, young individuals are capable of doing more physical work relative to older generation. Population of young adults provides a large number of work force in the various sectors including construction, marketing and management. To exemplify this, the young population of China and India is relatively larger than grey population and foreign companies mostly opt for young workers from these countries. Hence, younger population helps to improve the nation's GDP and economic growth.
On the other hand, if the younger population of a nation is relatively larger then there is more unemployment. As the number of younger population is more then the demand for jobs will be increased. Eventually, to fulfil the basis requirement, the younger adults may deviate towards the crimes due to shortage of employment. This may increase the crime rate of a country. For example, educated younger population struggles to get career opportunities but due to abundance of work force they are unable to get jobs in their required field, so to satisfy their basic requirement of life, they indulge in the criminal activities.
In conclusion, although it is undeniable that large number of younger adults may lead to unemployment, the advantages of this trend outweigh the demerits as young adults foster a nation's financial and economic growth along with the innovation and creative mindsets.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The ideas are relevant and generally well-supported. For instance, the argument regarding economic growth through innovation and a larger workforce is clearly articulated. However, the development of the counter-argument regarding unemployment is slightly less nuanced, relying on a somewhat simplistic link between unemployment and crime. While the response is well-structured, some points could be extended further to reach a higher band. Overall, the response is focused and directly answers the question posed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical, and some referencing is a bit repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'younger population' or 'young adults'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages, which helps in maintaining a clear progression of ideas throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing for clear communication. There are attempts to use less common items like 'economic dynamism' and 'demographic group'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'grey population' (which is not standard in this context) and 'at the time of pandemic COVID-19' (which should be 'during the COVID-19 pandemic'). The range is sufficient to convey the intended meaning, but more precise and varied vocabulary would be needed to reach a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('young adults represents') and article usage ('a young adult had discovered the new vaccination'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in sentence construction. The majority of the sentences are understandable, and the errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.