Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Recently, the population of young people is significantly higher as compared to that of elderly people in some states . This essay will discuss both advantage and disadvantage of youth population growth in some countries .

Population growth of youths in some countries has a lot of advantages, when the population of young people is large than that of elderly people it significantly show that the country will have high productivity. For instance many companies prefer employing young staff than elderly because they are still energetic and work long hours and also work under pressure. As a results, it will lead to high productivity and company will be able meet their goals and target. In addition, having large number of youth in the county will improve the economical and financial status of the country the reason being most of the young people will engage in more activities that will generate a lot of revenue as compared to elderly, thus leading to development of the nation. Subsequently, young adults are more likely to do business will also generate revenue which is advantageous to state.

On the other hand, when youths population increased especially who are jobless will lead to use of drugs and involving themselves in illegal activities such as crime which will eventually leading to destructions of the public features and even deaths. Additionally, many youths participate on strikes and public demonstrations, leading to destructions of properties and robberies, resulting to losses in the country. For example in Kenya ,many youths come out to demonstrates on June 2024.However, the nation counted a lot of losses within three days of public demonstrations and besides that many youths lost their life's.

in conclusion, even though the populations of youth is large as compared to elderly, the countries should be more keen on how to deal with the young people , despite the fact that advantages outweigh the disadvantage the are still need the government should be responsible on creating job opportunities to minimize disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing both advantages and disadvantages of a youth-heavy population. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are generally relevant. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the argument regarding economic growth is a bit repetitive, and the example of the Kenyan protests is slightly underdeveloped in terms of its direct link to the broader demographic argument. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more nuanced analysis and ensure that every point directly supports your overall stance on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to link your points. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'As a results' (should be 'As a result') and 'Subsequently' used in a context that does not quite fit the logical flow. Additionally, some sentences are slightly disjointed, which affects the overall flow of the argument. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'productivity', 'revenue', and 'demographics'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'destructions of the public features' (should be 'destruction of public property') and 'the nation counted a lot of losses' (should be 'the nation suffered significant losses'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your expression. Expanding your vocabulary to include more sophisticated collocations would help improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'youths population increased' (should be 'the youth population increases') and 'the are still need' (should be 'there is still a need'). There are also punctuation and article errors, such as 'life's' (should be 'lives') and 'the countries' (should be 'countries'). While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to keep the score in the 5.5 to 6.0 range. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be highly beneficial.

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