Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some country the total percentage of young population in comparison to old population is higher. I personally think the advantages outweighs the disadvantages.

First and foremost advantage of have a young population as the majority is that it can be very beneficial for the country as foreign investments are made into countries with young workforce as it give them more time to develop their holdings in a country and enough time int the market. Young people often tend to be very active and very flexible to the technology this helps them create new startups, innovate new things and also attract labor intensive companies to their country as there more workforce leading to development of a country.

The second main advantage is that there can be new rules and regulation which can be introduced to the country as it almost target a majority of the group, leading to smooth operation of government.

There can be some disadvantages also , as majority of the population is youngsters they all will be seeking employment almost nearly so there should be enough employment to cater to this people otherwise it leads to unemployment, also all the age group grow old together that can lead to shortage of young blood if they did not get the time to make children . For instance Japan is facing a bottleneck as most of the population is Old and the birthrate is reaching a deadly all time low mark.

The solutions taken for this were Japan introduced visas easy for people to travel there and find their love. Also if we talk about unemployment issue govt can give some policies or introduce some programs to increase the employment rate of their youths.

In conclusion Young population's majority is a big advantage a country can have but they should be making rules and regulation to adhere the needs of that population for the better outcome of their country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The advantages are discussed in terms of economic development and governance, while the disadvantages cover unemployment and long-term demographic shifts. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the point about 'new rules and regulation' is vague and lacks specific explanation of how a young population facilitates this. The example of Japan is relevant but slightly confused, as the student discusses an aging population to illustrate a point about a young one. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed, logical explanations for each point rather than listing them briefly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'First and foremost', 'The second main advantage', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is disjointed. For example, the transition between the discussion of unemployment and the mention of Japan is abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as 'cater to this people', which lacks a precise antecedent. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'foreign investments', 'labor intensive', and 'birthrate'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'develop their holdings in a country', 'flexible to the technology', and 'young blood'. Some phrasing is repetitive, and the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited. To improve, focus on learning collocations (words that naturally go together) and using more precise academic terminology to express complex ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include article misuse ('In some country', 'the majority of the population is youngsters'), subject-verb agreement ('advantages outweighs'), and punctuation errors. There are also awkward sentence constructions, such as 'they all will be seeking employment almost nearly'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and refining sentence structure would be highly beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.