Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this recent era, In majorly nations population of young individuals are far more, compared with the elderly people. I cognitively believed that this trend has far more merits as younger adults are more productive due to their younger age.

There are considerably more benefits for this notion. Firstly, there will be larger work force. To detail it out, more adults can work and it will inevitably boost the economic growth. Moreover, younger generation has nice thinking power so with the help of that there will be a new innovation in every sector. Secondly, older people also cannot handle the situation as better than youngers.

Furthermore, it also lower the burden of policy makers. To put it in other words, if the elderly individuals are fewer so government may spend lower on pension and health cares. Concurrently, older people cannot handle the workload as younger ones and due to that the it may be not completed on given time.

Paradoxically, there are few de-merits compared to merits. First and foremost is Unemployment. To detail it out, if there are too many young individuals and in compare to them there are low jobs so it will directly lead towards increasing in unemployment. At the same time, government need to built more school, university and training centers due to high population. Furthermore, it also lead towards housing and competition, where the demand for house will be increased.

Conclusively, although the larger younger population will result in low employment rate, housing competition and more school, but the advantages are significantly more such as larger workforce, more innovation and lower spending on pensions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the point about 'innovation' is mentioned but not explained with concrete examples. Similarly, the argument regarding the burden on policymakers is clear, but the claim that older people 'cannot handle the workload' is a generalization that lacks nuance. While a position is maintained throughout, the supporting arguments would benefit from greater depth and specific real-world examples to reach a higher band. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, confirming the writer's stance that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'Conclusively' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'To detail it out' and 'To put it in other words'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'older people also cannot handle the situation as better than youngers', where the comparison is vague. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'inevitably', 'concurrently', and 'paradoxically'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'majorly nations', 'nice thinking power', and 'in compare to them'. Spelling is generally accurate, but the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on repetitive structures. To improve, the student should focus on more natural collocations and a wider variety of academic synonyms to avoid simplistic phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the population', 'the government'), pluralization ('youngers', 'health cares'), and sentence construction ('if the elderly individuals are fewer so government may spend lower'). Some sentences are slightly ungrammatical, such as 'government need to built more school'. These errors are noticeable but do not significantly impede communication. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to improve control over subject-verb agreement and article usage, and aim for more error-free complex sentences.

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