Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In this prompt, the comparison of some countries large number of young adults with their older peoples takes place in contemporary time period. By comparing them, their is having lots of advantages and disadvantages because the age gap is mattered a lot. As if we are comparing them in contemporary period, we know that young generation have highly impacted the whole country in any situation as if we are comparing them in health and physical work or mental stability even in every field of work young generation of any country highly impacted the society. and where their is having older people this perimeter is going against the society because knowledge gained by young people is more feasible as compared to older ones and experience is more in older ones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 129 words. Consequently, the development of ideas is severely limited. While the prompt asks for an evaluation of whether advantages outweigh disadvantages, the response provides only a superficial comparison without clear argumentation or a definitive position. The ideas presented, such as the impact of young people on physical work versus the experience of older people, are underdeveloped and lack specific examples or logical extension. To improve, you must expand your response to meet the length requirement and ensure each body paragraph contains a clear topic sentence, supporting evidence, and a concluding thought that directly addresses the prompt's question.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a clear structure, consisting of a single, short paragraph. There is no clear introduction, body, or conclusion. The progression of ideas is difficult to follow because the sentences are linked in a repetitive and mechanical way, such as the frequent use of 'as if we are comparing them'. There is a lack of cohesive devices to connect ideas logically, and the paragraphing is non-existent. To improve, you should organize your essay into at least four paragraphs: an introduction, two body paragraphs exploring the advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Use linking words like 'furthermore', 'conversely', and 'consequently' to improve the flow between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is basic and often imprecise. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'their is having' instead of 'there are' and 'this perimeter is going against the society'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. You rely on repetitive structures and simple adjectives. To achieve a higher band, you should aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and collocations. For example, instead of saying 'young generation have highly impacted', you could use 'the younger demographic exerts a significant influence on'. Focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to demographics and socio-economic trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede clarity. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'their is having'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or fragmented, making the text difficult to read. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the simple sentences used are often inaccurate. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of 'there is/are'. Once you have a solid foundation, practice using subordinate clauses and relative pronouns to create more complex and accurate sentences.

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