Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modern world, population is increasing. Some people believe, in many nations majority of populations is young adults than elderly people. In my opinion, this is a positive development and younger generation brings more benefits for a country.

To begin with, there are more youth as the result of limited medical technology that provides limited treatments as well as expensive that everyone cannot afford. As the result of that there are more young people that older. But Young adults provide different benefits such as better labour to boost economy of particular country because they are physically stronger and can work harder as compared to older people. Young generation can use technology in a better way to boost business whereas older generation is old school.

Moreover, young people are good in critical thinking and have problem solving skills while medical conditions of elders make them incapable in such cases. In the modern businesses people require quick response to solve issues for better outcomes and younger generation is able to do that. Occupations such as army, police and airforce require physical fitness and stamina. Such professions are only suitable for young people. These people provide better skills and security through such jobs and taxes to support economy and to create more employment opportunities by investing in businesses.

In conclusion, young people provide more benefits to a particular country as critical thinking skills, use of technology, hard work, and improved economy which is difficult with older generation. Younger population provides more advantages to nation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of a young population. However, the task asks whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and the response fails to adequately address the 'disadvantages' side of the argument. While you mention that medical conditions make elders 'incapable', this is a weak attempt to address the negative aspects of a young population (such as the lack of experience or the burden of supporting an aging infrastructure). The ideas are somewhat repetitive, focusing heavily on physical strength and technology. To reach a higher band, you must provide a more balanced discussion that acknowledges the potential drawbacks of a youth-heavy demographic, such as the loss of institutional knowledge or the strain on education systems.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. For example, you frequently start sentences with 'As the result of' or 'Younger generation'. The transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother; some sentences feel disjointed, such as the sudden shift to discussing the army and police in the third paragraph. While there is a logical progression, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the occasional awkward phrasing make the flow feel slightly forced rather than natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic descriptors like 'better', 'good', and 'stronger'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'limited medical technology that provides limited treatments'. The phrase 'old school' is too informal for an academic essay. To improve, you should aim for more precise academic vocabulary, such as 'demographic shift', 'technological proficiency', or 'economic productivity', rather than repeating simple terms. The range is sufficient to convey your meaning, but it does not demonstrate a sophisticated command of language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'boost economy of particular country' should be 'the economy of a particular country') and subject-verb agreement errors. Some sentences are grammatically incomplete or awkward, such as 'Some people believe, in many nations majority of populations is young adults than elderly people.' While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for articles, prepositions, and sentence structure.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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