Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Now a days, it is relatively easy to move from one nation to another Worldwide. It has caused increased in the population of the young adults in some countries. Some people beleives that majority of the young adults has moved to other countries and this has caused the number of older people in those countries decreased. First of all the addition of young adults in some countries has filled the vacancy in the job market especially in major developed countries. Young adults often moved to other countries for better oppurtunities. This has leads to decrease in the number of older people in the overall population of those countries. Development of the countries moved towards the positive sides when there are large number of young people as they developed new ideas. Take an example of Germany in the Europe. It has attracted many young talents from the World to pursue higher education. In recent Years because of the safe travel routes has increased a lot of young adults in Germany. Compared to the number of older people if a country has large number of young adults, they can brings many benifits to the society and fills the vacancy in the job market. Now a days in the hospital young staff is needed bacause of fast and active work. For example in Australia there are a lot of vacancy can be seen in Nursing. So, many young adults move towards it because old people are often slow and less active than young adults. In conclusipon, young adults can adapts to the changes in the world quickly than the older generation. Therefore having more young adults in overall population brings many benifits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of a young population, such as filling job vacancies and fostering innovation. However, the task asks whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and the response fails to adequately address the 'disadvantages' side of the argument, making the position unbalanced. While the ideas are relevant, they are somewhat under-developed and rely on generalizations, such as the claim that older people are 'less active.' To reach a higher band, you must provide a more comprehensive analysis that acknowledges both sides of the argument before concluding which outweighs the other.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is sometimes disjointed. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'First of all' and 'In conclusion,' they are used in a somewhat mechanical way. The transition between ideas is occasionally abrupt, and the referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the link between Germany's education system and the overall argument about young adults is not fully articulated. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, central topic sentence would significantly improve the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'beleives' instead of 'believes,' 'oppurtunities' instead of 'opportunities,' and 'benifits' instead of 'benefits.' Furthermore, some word choices are repetitive or slightly unnatural, such as 'moved towards the positive sides.' To improve, you should focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring accurate spelling of common academic terms. Expanding your range of vocabulary beyond basic descriptors will help convey your ideas with more nuance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'This has leads to' and 'majority of the young adults has moved.' There are also issues with article usage and sentence construction, such as 'Now a days in the hospital young staff is needed.' While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors limits the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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