Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In modern society, young adults represent a larger proportion of the total population in many countries, compared with that of older people. I believe that the advantages of having a larger number of young adults are outweigh the drawbacks because they significantly contribute to social and economic development. However, older people remain important, as they help to pass down traditions and cultural practices.

One major advantage of a larger population of young adults is that they make meaningful contributions to the economy. During this lifetime period, individuals become more ative in terms of employment, as they have to cover the basic living expenses of them and their families, such as food, transportation, healthcare and housing. As a result, this generation must secure a job position that allows them meet their basic needs, making a meaningful contribution to the economic progress.

Another important benefit is that they they also support social progress. Professionals in the medical service, educational institutions, and transport systems are often young adults who have succesfully completed their academic education, allowing them to carry out their daily responsibilities effectively. Consequently, countries benefit from the workforce comprised by such generation. Therefore, having a larger proportion of young people significantly benefit society as a whole.

Nevertheless, older generations also contribute to society in several ways. They help preserve beliefs, traditions and ways of life, allowing younger generations maintain a strong connection with their past and cultural identity. They also an important part of families, as they help in household shores, take care of children and sometimes contribute economically.

In conclusion, Although young adults make great contibutions to society, old people remain highly important in modern society. By preserving culture, traditions and identities, while also helping in household responsibilities, elderly people can make meaningful contributions to society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages of a young population outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, particularly regarding economic contributions and social services. However, the discussion of the disadvantages is somewhat brief compared to the advantages, and the conclusion could have been more effectively used to synthesize the arguments rather than simply restating them. To reach a higher band, ensure that the counter-arguments are explored with the same depth as the primary arguments to provide a more balanced and comprehensive analysis of the situation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'Consequently', 'Nevertheless', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to link ideas. However, there are minor issues with cohesion, such as the repetitive use of 'they' and 'such generation', which makes the flow feel slightly mechanical at times. Improving the variety of referencing and transition signals would enhance the overall flow and make the connections between sentences more sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'proportion', 'contributions', and 'preserve'. However, there are several spelling errors ('ative' instead of 'active', 'succesfully' instead of 'successfully', 'contibutions' instead of 'contributions') and minor collocation issues like 'household shores' (should be 'chores'). While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on precision and proofreading for spelling would significantly improve the lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'are outweigh' (should be 'outweigh'), 'during this lifetime period' (awkward phrasing), and 'allowing younger generations maintain' (missing 'to'). Additionally, there is a redundant 'they' in 'they they also support'. The control of grammar is inconsistent; while the writer attempts complex structures, the frequency of errors in basic subject-verb agreement and preposition usage suggests that the writer has not yet achieved full control over complex sentence forms.

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