Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Today, the population in few states which includes more young adults as compared to the amount of older people. This essay will argue that despite young adults are the future of our country however older people guide children that this would cause mean that the drawbacks of such a development outweigh the benefits.
The main advantage is that today generation learn new skills by taking coaching from best institute and as a result, they represent our country in various field according to their intrest by migration from one place to another. It is not important young adults just take part in educational activities there are various other activities as well such as games , entertainment, etc . For example, in institute younger get an opportunity to take participation in activities and based on this they sometimes play for international level .
The main disadvantage is that if child is frustrated and confused for which , he/she not able to understand what should they do than they take an advice from older people and they guide children in various direction and in such a good manner. But , if older people population is less sometime future generations is not get proper guidance because they face many problems and based on that they guide children and the direction which is given by older people is always better than anyone else . For example, older people have the life experience to tell children what is right or wrong.
In conclusion, although young adults are the future of our country but the benefits of older people are more like they guide the children and if child listen to them they always become successful in their life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth and clarity. While you identify both advantages and disadvantages, the arguments are underdeveloped and somewhat repetitive. The introduction is confusing, as the sentence structure makes it difficult to discern your clear position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The body paragraphs rely on vague examples, such as 'games, entertainment, etc.' and 'best institute', which do not provide the specific, well-supported arguments required for a higher band. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clearly explained point supported by a concrete example that directly relates to the demographic shift mentioned in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For example, the transition 'But, if older people population is less sometime future generations is not get proper guidance' is disjointed and difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical or misused, such as the repetitive use of 'and' to connect unrelated ideas. The referencing is also unclear at times, making it difficult to track the relationship between the ideas presented. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each sentence builds logically on the previous one will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas precisely. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'activities', and 'things'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'taking coaching from best institute' and 'older people population is less'. These errors occasionally make the meaning unclear. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of topic-specific vocabulary related to demographics, sociology, and intergenerational dynamics. Focus on learning collocations and using more precise nouns and verbs to convey your points more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'future generations is not get'), article usage (e.g., 'in few states'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'if child is frustrated... he/she not able to understand'). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple or poorly constructed complex sentences. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, which affects the overall readability. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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