Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, many nations includes major number of youngsters with compared to aged individuals. In my viewpoint, the benefits surpass the drawbacks. My preference is explained further.

The foremost positive is younger generation people come with new ideas and innovation. If fresh ideas are included in company's work, company may be get benefit. As a result, it is helpful in expansion of business. In addition adults learn new skills quickly. Since advancements in technology, individuals use it for their improving knowledge. Therefore, it is beneficial for personal and professional growth.

Furthermore, young people working for long hours. This is because there body do not feel tire after working for more than eight hours in a day. Hence, it is useful in completing deadline projects. For example, a recent survey in the USA told that, most of teenager like to work more than ten hours daily even if without break.

However, the demerits should not be disgarded for many reasons. The first reason is that aged people have years of experience in their life. When there is difficulty arise in a country, their knowledge should be very helpful in any situation. Consequently, senior citizen people play a important role in country. For instance, in Brazil, the government made a rule, every organisation should include fifty-fifty ratio of both young and older people.

In conclusion, although there are many disadvantages like older people have more experience than younger, I believe that youngsters have more advantages such as adapt new things quickly, leaning new skills and come with fresh ideas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about young people working long hours is supported by a questionable example regarding teenagers working ten-hour days, which lacks logical depth. The position is clear throughout, but the arguments could be more thoroughly extended to reach a higher band. The conclusion briefly summarizes the points but does not add significant value to the overall argument. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more nuanced explanation of the 'why' and 'how' behind your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'The foremost positive', 'In addition', 'Furthermore', and 'However' are used to signal transitions between ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'In my viewpoint' or 'My preference is explained further'. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. While the overall progression is coherent, the essay relies on a somewhat repetitive structure that limits the sophistication of the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'major number of youngsters' instead of 'a large proportion of young people', and 'disgarded' (spelling error). Phrases like 'there body do not feel tire' demonstrate a lack of control over collocations and word forms. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring correct word forms (e.g., 'fatigued' instead of 'feel tire').

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's flow. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('many nations includes', 'most of teenager like'), missing articles ('play a important role'), and incorrect verb forms ('adapt new things' instead of 'adapting'). While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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