Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Adults are the shining star of whole world in every sector. Some studies shows the number of younger people is higher as compared to older ones . In my personal opinion advantages has outweigh the disadvantages also will share reasons regarding this information.

Firstly having population of younger would impact better results as compared to older people because they are more active in mental health and conegtive skills as well . For example nowadays new business are giving opportunities to younger people rather than older because they thing that they should also get chance of work and handling businesses . Moreover younger people has also quick in learning new things that can be helpful to show creativity in business sectors. Apart from this the adults assumed more active by health because they has better strength as comparison of older ones due to their physical illness etc . Having great population of adults can be merit for countries because they have better courage to boast economical conditions .

However, old people has also playing significant role because adults can learn variety of things by them due to their experiences and skills as well . For example adults cannot imagine their life esier without interacting with old people because they having more life experiences rather then adults in personal life and business sector . So new generation can get chance new things from experised ones .

In conclusion both are having their own importantance but having young population is not bad for any country because they has more advantages than older one but we also cannot replaced the area of old people too .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you state your position clearly in the introduction, the supporting arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the claim that young people are better at business is asserted but not fully explained with concrete examples. The conclusion is a bit simplistic and does not fully synthesize the points made. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct, well-developed argument with specific evidence rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Apart from this' and 'Moreover' are used, but the logical flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'due to their physical illness etc', which lacks a clear antecedent. The progression of ideas is present but could be smoother; the transition between the advantages of youth and the importance of the elderly feels abrupt. Improving the variety and precision of linking words will enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'conegtive skills' (cognitive), 'boast economical conditions' (boost economic conditions), and 'experised ones' (experienced individuals). Some phrases are repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'younger people' and 'older people'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary and ensure that words are used in their correct collocations. Focus on learning synonyms and academic phrases to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('Some studies shows', 'younger people has also quick'), incorrect verb forms ('adults assumed more active'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency would be a significant step forward.

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