Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In this present era the population of young people is in large in many countries as compare to number of old age people.
According to my opinion there are some benefits of having huge people of young age. firstly is if a country having young adults then these people always play an important role in the progress of the many countries. For example my cousin now is about 25 year old and he is a inspector in Punjab police and he become a hero in our society. secondly the young men and women do his duties fully and not involved in any type of disease and they have no needs to visit the hospitals and pay any money in buying many kinds of medicines. Thirdly the benefit is the young people always creates many things to make the fun , so when young generation do any thing on the name of enjoy and it will helps to take part in memorable scenes of the country.
On the other hand there are some disadvantages of having high population of young people in any country and the first is some young people do their works on the specific time but also we found a heavy list of those who always get late in doing their responsibility on the time because they spend their much time in useless activities. For example my younger brother is student of 11th class and he is 18 year old and he failed in his annual examinations because he does not pay any heed in his lesson and also on the lectures. He always remain busy in mobile phone and sports and at last he failed.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is limited and often relies on anecdotal evidence (e.g., the cousin in the police force or the brother failing school) rather than broader societal analysis. The position is clear, but the arguments lack depth and academic rigor. The conclusion is entirely missing, which is a significant omission for an essay task. To improve, you should focus on developing general arguments about economic productivity, social innovation, and the burden on healthcare or education systems, rather than personal stories.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'firstly is if a country having...'). The transition between ideas is often abrupt, and the lack of a concluding paragraph leaves the essay feeling unfinished. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the logical progression of ideas is hindered by the simplistic sentence structure and repetitive phrasing. Improving the use of linking words such as 'consequently', 'furthermore', and 'in contrast' would help create a smoother flow between your points.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'huge people', 'many things', and 'make the fun'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'do his duties fully' and 'not involved in any type of disease'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range is insufficient to express complex ideas with precision. To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more academic vocabulary related to demographics and economics, such as 'workforce participation', 'demographic dividend', or 'social welfare'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('young people always creates'), article usage ('a inspector'), and tense inconsistencies. Complex structures are attempted but are often faulty or awkward, such as 'when young generation do any thing on the name of enjoy and it will helps'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and run-on sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction before attempting more complex forms, and pay close attention to pluralisation and verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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