Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, in a few countries there are more youngsters as compared to the old people. Thus due to this there are significant changes in such countries. According to me it will help a lot in the development of the country.
As the country population has a very major impact on its development. If there are more uneducated people as compared to the educated ones there will be no progress in such country and as a result of it that country would fail in a long run. In similar to this if there are more young and ambitious individuals in a country, the country will make immense progress in all the fields and ultimately it results in a new and energetic society. In comparison to it if there is a big population of old people in a country then such country will face huge backlash because those old people were not able to work more and are not much energetic as the youngsters. They have not more ideas as compared to those who are younger than them. As what I have experienced till now I would say that young people have very high aims and ambitions which they want to fulfil at any cost and it would help a lot for the development of the country. But the old people are the ones who do not have any high aims as they are in such stage of their life in which they just want to rest and to spend most of their time by mere sitting on a chair with a newspaper. Or they want to spend their time with their grand children. It is because they are at that stage of their life during which they have no thrill in their life except the calmness and soothing feeling of the life.
In conclusion, I would say that youngsters being more energetic than the old people have more thrill of doing new things as compared to the old people who just want to rest. And a country with more young people will make immense progress in almost all fields of life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of a young population, but it fails to provide a balanced view. The task asks whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, yet the essay focuses almost exclusively on the benefits of youth and presents a stereotypical, negative view of the elderly. The argument is somewhat one-sided and lacks depth regarding the potential disadvantages of a large youth population, such as high unemployment or social instability. To improve, you should acknowledge the potential downsides of having fewer older people, such as the loss of experience or the burden on the state to support a large dependent youth population, and provide a more nuanced comparison.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is somewhat repetitive. While you use some cohesive devices like 'In conclusion' and 'In comparison to it', the transitions between sentences are often mechanical or awkward, such as 'In similar to this'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the logical flow is hindered by the repetitive nature of the arguments regarding the energy levels of young versus old people. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-developed point rather than restating the same idea in different ways.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. You rely on basic descriptors like 'big', 'huge', and 'very high'. Phrases such as 'mere sitting on a chair' and 'no thrill in their life' are somewhat informal and imprecise. There is an attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but it is limited. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology, such as 'demographic shift', 'economic productivity', or 'intergenerational knowledge transfer', rather than relying on colloquial descriptions of daily activities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include incorrect preposition usage ('In similar to this'), article errors ('in a long run'), and awkward phrasing ('as what I have experienced'). While the meaning is generally clear, the control over complex structures is inconsistent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Additionally, try to vary your sentence length and structure to avoid the repetitive 'If... then...' pattern used throughout the second paragraph.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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