Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is an undeniable fact that population is increasing rapidly in today's contemporary world. The population of some countries have large proportion of young adults rather than older people. I believe that young adults have the capacity to bring more beneficial changes to society and development of their country.

To begin with, an increase in population brings more opportunities to develop their country by contributing in different field. Youths of this generation are more willing to work comparatively to older people. They learn new things on daily basis which help them to perform better in their work and studies. As a result, their will be large workforce which increase the productivity and growth of their society. As there are more educated and employed people, government will invest more in infrastructures and public services. Young people are more willing to learn new skills which can bring new innovations and technologies to make their economic growth. In addition, they can increase tax revenue and entrepreneurship.

However, rapidly growing young population can create many challenges for government. Firstly, if sufficient jobs will not be available then youths may struggle to find appropriate jobs, which create pressure on government to provide housing, healthcare and education at low rate. As a result, it directly affect economies of the country. For instance, many developing countries have large proportion of young adults which face many difficulties as it is still developing country and have problem like unemployment and less economic growth.

The inexorable description on this topic can keep on going keeping but observing the finer nuance, I would like to espouse my notion that young adults have capability to overcome the disadvantages with effective economic and population planning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the benefits are explained, the discussion on disadvantages is slightly less detailed, relying on general statements about unemployment. To reach a higher band, the arguments could be more thoroughly supported with specific examples or deeper analysis of the socio-economic mechanisms involved. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and uses overly complex, slightly unnatural phrasing that does not add much substantive value to the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'In addition', and 'However', which help guide the reader through the argument. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical or repetitive. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the phrase 'The inexorable description on this topic' in the conclusion, which feels disconnected from the preceding content. Overall, the progression of ideas is coherent, but the use of cohesive devices could be more natural and varied.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'inexorable', 'espouse', and 'nuance'. However, these are sometimes used inaccurately or in a way that feels forced rather than natural. For instance, 'espouse my notion' is not a standard collocation in this context. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'contributing in different field' (should be 'fields') and 'at low rate' (should be 'at low cost' or 'at affordable rates'). The range is sufficient, but precision and natural collocation need improvement.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that persist throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The population... have', 'government will invest'), missing articles ('in infrastructures', 'affect economies of the country'), and tense errors ('if sufficient jobs will not be available'). These errors do not typically impede communication, but they are noticeable and occur with enough frequency to prevent a higher score. More attention to basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading for small errors would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

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