Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Population has always been a dynamic factor for a region. It also impacts the economy of a country, and it has different trends across various regions.

A country with a significant number of young adults has major advantages over a country with a majority of old people from an economic perspective. Firstly, the youth can work more and enjoy a good lifestyle, which directly contributes to the economy of the country, whereas an older person will not be able to work and cannot travel or have a lavish lifestyle due to their health conditions. Furthermore, the youth can have a big advantage when it comes to adaptability, as in the present times, technology is changing very frequently. Thus, it is difficult for the elderly to keep up with the pace. For example, a person aged 60 would not have the energy to study, use and practice new technologies. Moreover, countries can export their young talent to other countries, which would also, in a way, boost the economy, which is difficult to do with older people.

However, countries with more older people also have some positive impact on the economy, because they need healthcare workers. As a result, the youth can work those jobs and take care of them. Let's consider Japan, for example, which has a huge demand for healthcare workers, impacting the demand and supply equation across Japan.

To conclude, there are multiple economic advantages for a country with a larger number of young adults compared to countries with an ageing population, in my opinion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the economic implications of a young population versus an ageing one. However, the development is somewhat superficial. The argument that older people 'cannot travel or have a lavish lifestyle' is a sweeping generalization that lacks nuance and academic rigor. While the position is clear, the supporting ideas are not fully extended; for instance, the point about exporting talent is mentioned but not explored in depth. To reach a higher band, you should provide more balanced, sophisticated arguments that avoid stereotypical assumptions about the capabilities of older generations and focus more on the socio-economic complexities of demographic shifts.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'However' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, the progression within paragraphs is occasionally mechanical. For example, the transition between the benefits of youth and the mention of Japan feels slightly abrupt. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the overall flow could be improved by using more varied linking phrases rather than relying on standard list-like connectors. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'demographic', 'economic perspective', and 'demand and supply equation'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on simpler descriptors such as 'big advantage' and 'good lifestyle'. To improve, aim for more precise collocations and academic vocabulary. For instance, instead of 'big advantage', you could use 'significant competitive edge'. The word choices are generally accurate, and there are no spelling errors that impede communication, but the lexical range does not yet demonstrate the flexibility required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is a good attempt at using conditional and comparative forms, such as 'whereas an older person will not be able to work'. While most sentences are clear, there are occasional minor errors in article usage and prepositional phrases. Punctuation is generally handled well, though some sentences could be more effectively connected to improve flow. The grammar is sufficiently accurate that it does not impede communication, but to achieve a higher score, you should incorporate a wider variety of complex grammatical structures, such as passive voice or inverted conditionals, with greater consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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