Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary era, the demographics of young individuals far more than the number of elder people in many countries. Although young generation have some drawbacks like high unemployment and strain on infrastructure, this may important for the bright future of the nation, as it helps in boost economy and more innovations. This essay discusses both the viewpoints before presenting a valid perspective.

Commencing with the viewpoint of the multitude of people as of I believe that it has the positive impact on society. The first and foremost reason is economic growth. In other words, young adults can create large workforce which may lead higher productivity and creativity. For example, when there are more adults in the company, they provide not only productivity but also new innovations. As a result, they can increase national income and output, which helps in growth of GDP. Moreover, young generation are generally more adaptable to new technologies, digital transformation and modern industries like AI and software development.

Despite the advantages of young youth, the drawbacks cannot be overlooked. The predominant concern is the high unemployment. This is because of the fact that the market would be full with the demand of jobs and creates burden on government to provide welfare. To illustrate, several middle Eastern and North African countries have faced social unrest due to a mismatch between youth and available employment opportunities. Additionally, youth population demands heavy government spending on schools, universities and entry-level housing, which can overwhelm public budgets.

In conclusion, even though having disadvantages of young youth yet it plays crucial role for the development of nation as boost economic and it innovates new machines and technology for the advancement of country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of a young population, fulfilling the prompt's requirements. The position is clear throughout, and the main ideas—economic growth and innovation versus unemployment and infrastructure strain—are relevant. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While the economic argument is supported with examples, the discussion on infrastructure could be more detailed. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and lacks a strong summary of the final stance. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more nuanced exploration of the points raised rather than relying on general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices such as 'The first and foremost reason', 'Moreover', and 'Despite the advantages' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'Commencing with the viewpoint of the multitude of people as of I believe'. Referencing is generally clear, but the connection between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall progression of ideas. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different aspects of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific terminology like 'demographics', 'digital transformation', and 'social unrest'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'young youth' (redundant) and 'boost economy' (should be 'boost the economy'). Some phrasing is also slightly unnatural, such as 'the market would be full with the demand of jobs'. Expanding the range of vocabulary to include more precise academic collocations would help elevate the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'the demographics of young individuals far more than the number of elder people' (missing verb), 'this may important' (missing verb), and 'young generation are' (subject-verb agreement). While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, the student should focus on basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that every clause contains a main verb and that subject-verb agreement is consistently applied.

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