Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It has been universally acknowledge that at the present time, the number of citizen in some nations includes a relatively large count of young adults, compared with the count of older people. Although the main demerits are unemployment pressures and resource strain, there are several merits of this trend too.
On the one hand, one of the major disadvantages of this trend is the unemployment pressures, which is due to the fact that if the economy cannot create enough jobs, a massive young population leads to high unemployment rates and potential social unrest. The rearmost coherent drawback is resource strain which means that high demand on education system and public infrastructure can overwhelm developing economies.
On the other hand, there are various evidences in its favour which are substantial. Out of many, the major one is the lower healthcare burden. To elaborate, younger populations generally require less immediate medical and easing pressure on state healthcare budgets. Another worth considering benefit is market consumption . This leads to young adults consume more goods , buy homes and start businesses which grow rapidly.
To conclude, even though there are negative aspects that oppose the
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, as it is only 192 words long. Furthermore, the essay is incomplete, ending abruptly in the middle of the concluding paragraph. While the student identifies both advantages and disadvantages, the ideas are under-developed due to the lack of length and the unfinished nature of the argument. The position is clear, but the lack of a full conclusion and the brevity of the supporting points prevent a higher score. To improve, the student must ensure they provide a full, balanced argument with sufficient supporting examples and a complete conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to signal the structure. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the text. Paragraphing is present, but the final paragraph is truncated, which disrupts the overall flow. Referencing is generally clear, but the mechanical use of transition words suggests a limited range of cohesive tools. To improve, the student should focus on developing ideas more fully within each paragraph and ensuring that the essay reaches a logical and complete conclusion.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are some awkward collocations, such as 'rearmost coherent drawback' and 'various evidences in its favour'. While the meaning is generally clear, the student relies on somewhat repetitive phrasing. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'universally acknowledge' instead of 'universally acknowledged'. To achieve a higher score, the student should work on using more sophisticated vocabulary and ensuring correct collocations to express ideas more naturally and precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors throughout the text. For example, 'the number of citizen' should be 'the number of citizens', and 'younger populations generally require less immediate medical and easing pressure' is syntactically flawed. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall clarity. To improve, the student needs to focus on sentence construction, specifically ensuring correct verb forms and pluralization.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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