Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Currently, the density of population in few nations involves a relatively large number of young adults in comparison to the number of ageing people. This is a interesting topic to discuss as a coin has it's two side just like this topic has pros and cons. In my perspective advantages of this statement definitely outweigh the disadvantage.
Number of young adults contribute to the economy of country by participating in various activities. This is because working to live life also means taking part in development of finance of a nation in different way. Young adults who are skilled and can do any kind of work earn money through job and spend it for them which ultimately go to national treasure. Since, youth also assists government in numerous developmental activities. For instance, a Nepalese labor who works in golf country sends money to Nepal and pays tax to government.
on the other hand, older citizens needs a lot of facilities such as health care, pension which increase the expenses of country. Moreover, older people can not take part in social service and many works. And this age bracket population become inactive and useless. Although they support younger adults by surpassing their experience but it is the only service they can offer to the nation.
In conclusion, while adults offer variety of services and help to enhance the infrastructure and economy of a nation. Meanwhile, older citizen can not get a chance to serve a country instead authorities have to make policies regarding them. This is why i firmly believe advantage of young adults outweigh the disadvantage.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the economic contribution of young adults is mentioned, the explanation remains superficial. The discussion regarding older citizens is underdeveloped and relies on generalizations, such as labeling them 'useless,' which lacks nuance and academic objectivity. To improve, you should provide more balanced, well-reasoned arguments and avoid overly simplistic or potentially offensive characterizations of demographic groups. The position is clear, but the supporting evidence needs to be more sophisticated and logically structured to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, phrases like 'Meanwhile, older citizen can not get a chance' are used incorrectly to link ideas. The transition between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion is somewhat abrupt. While there is a logical progression of ideas, the lack of sophisticated linking words and occasional awkward phrasing makes the flow feel disjointed. Improving the variety and accuracy of transition signals would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'national treasure' (instead of 'national treasury') and 'golf country' (likely a typo for 'Gulf countries'). The phrasing 'a coin has it's two side' is a clichéd idiom that is used incorrectly here. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to economics and demographics, and ensure you use words in their correct context. Avoid over-reliance on basic vocabulary and strive for more academic terminology.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'older citizens needs'), article usage (e.g., 'participating in various activities' vs 'the various activities'), and punctuation errors. The sentence 'Although they support younger adults by surpassing their experience but it is the only service they can offer' is grammatically incorrect due to the redundant use of 'although' and 'but'. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors in tense and pluralization.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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