Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays the number of young adults in some countries are more than the number of older people. Though older people play a significant role in a country, in my opinion the advantages of huge number of young people outweigh the disadvantages.
The energy of young people can be very beneficial for a society as they can help the society by contributing more. When a young individual works for a company he can do multitasking rather than a senior person. Moreover, young people are more familiar with modern technology. Because of their knowledge they can overcome many tough jobs easily which is ultimately beneficial for the country. Furthermore, when young people do not join a job, that time they can also help our society by doing many social activities which will help them by becoming more responsible in future. These experiences will help them very much for their betterment as well as for the country. For instance, the popular organization called "Dwip Unnoyon" which was lead by some young people is now became very well known for their contribution in the society.
On the other hand, the elderly people can contribute in society as well but sometimes they can not because of their age. At the same time, because of their sickness they might not be capable enough to serve the society. A study carried out by the students of East University they found out that about 80% of elderly citizens from Japan are not that much interested in other social activities.
Though elder people are more experienced but because of their age and other problems they might not be able to he[p the society as young generation. That is why i think the advantages of proliferating young adults outweigh the disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have addressed the prompt by taking a clear position that the advantages of a young population outweigh the disadvantages. You provided relevant arguments regarding energy, technological proficiency, and social responsibility. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the point about multitasking is asserted but not fully explained or supported with a strong logical link. The counter-argument regarding the elderly is also slightly underdeveloped, relying on a specific study rather than a broader discussion of the societal value of experience. To reach a higher band, ensure that each main idea is fully explored with more depth and nuance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some referencing is slightly unclear, such as in the sentence 'When young people do not join a job, that time they can also help our society'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proliferating', 'significant role', and 'contributing'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'proliferating young adults' (which is not the standard collocation) and 'lead by some young people is now became'. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, you should aim to use more precise collocations and academic phrasing to demonstrate a higher level of lexical control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the number of young adults... are'), article usage ('the popular organization'), and tense inconsistencies ('is now became'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your argument, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a stronger grasp of basic sentence construction and verb forms to achieve a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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