Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Unanimouly, the phenomena of number of young adults compared with the number of older people is ubiquitous across the gobal due to a plethora of merits, however, It is agreed that the demerits connected to large population of young adults compared with older generation cannot be ignored. Majority of the individuals supports this and other oppose. In my further paragraphs, the advantages of the given narrative shall be elucidated.
On one hand, initiating with the pros of the same, the first and foremost key benefit of the topic is new generation is more skilled in technology. For example nowdays, companies hire younger generation more because of new skilled technology demanded. Another benefit which can be highlighed is new generation is more into mixed culture concept like getting more knowledge of other cultures. To lite instance there are 57% of Indian young generation love to explore other society.
On other hand, the darker side of topic include like there is no more experienced young adult in particular field like other older generation is more experienced. Additionally another drawback which make problematic is young generation do not like responsibility than older generation. To exemplify like older generation where motivated and like to take responsibility of home.
To encapsulate neither the pros of topic can be neglected, nor its cons. I opine that new generation should get more chance in fields than older generation and take their retirement accordingly and the given statement should not be underestimated and can be reinforced in our mordern socitey by the joint effort of individuals and government.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments regarding technology and cultural awareness are brief and lack sufficient depth or clear logical connection to the prompt. The position is stated but remains somewhat vague throughout the essay. To improve, you should provide more detailed explanations and concrete, well-integrated examples for each point. The conclusion introduces new ideas about retirement and government policy that were not previously discussed, which disrupts the flow of the argument. Focus on expanding your main points within the body paragraphs rather than introducing new concepts at the end.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is often hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical use of cohesive devices. Phrases like 'On one hand' and 'To encapsulate' are used, but the transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt or confusing. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the introduction where the stance on the issue is muddled. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks cohesion, making it difficult for the reader to follow the development of your argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the readability.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is limited and contains several instances of inappropriate word choice and non-standard collocations. For example, 'Unanimouly' is misspelled, and 'across the gobal' is incorrect usage. Phrases like 'darker side of topic' and 'lite instance' are unnatural and impede the clarity of your message. While you attempt to use some academic vocabulary, the frequent errors in word formation and spelling suggest a need for a more precise approach to vocabulary. To reach a higher band, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that the words you choose accurately reflect the intended meaning in an academic context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'number of young adults... is ubiquitous' and 'Majority of the individuals supports'. Sentence structures are often repetitive or fragmented, and there are frequent errors in article usage and preposition placement. While you attempt some complex sentences, they are often marred by errors, such as 'another drawback which make problematic is young generation do not like responsibility'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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