Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In few countries the number of people living are mostly large number of 18-27 aged people than the number of elderly people. I strongly believe that its advantages outweigh the disadvantages owing to the fact that young people are key for development and for skilled workforce which will boost economy and effective development.
When some nations have more young people, they have skillful brain that can later be used for their development of the countries. Young people have higher abilities and capacities to work. Additionally, they can implement as well as manage anything more carefully. For nation, young people are like prestigious treasure than anything else. They can work hours without being exhausted and have brilliant mind to tackle any obstacles. For example, Nepal government was underdevelopment when there are only older people creating problem like lack of effective manpower but after 2025 revolution, its developing and evolving as participation of the young people were high. That shows how vital young people are to the nation.
Even thus, elder individuals have some important contribution in society. Older people help to maintain society and community better by maintaining peace. Additionally, they are part of the history of the certain country which everyone should respect that. When some countries have higher older people there are unity among people and happiness. For example, Bhutan is the one of the happiest country in south-east Asia because there are elder more than young people.
That concludes that having large number of young people outweigh the disadvantages of not having older people
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, maintaining a clear position that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding young people being a 'prestigious treasure' is vague and lacks depth. The example provided about Nepal is confusing and historically inaccurate, which weakens the support for your argument. To improve, ensure that your examples are more universally understood and that your points are expanded with logical reasoning rather than just assertions. The conclusion is present but could be more effectively linked to the main body paragraphs to reinforce your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Additionally' and 'For example', but these are sometimes used mechanically. The transition between the advantages and the disadvantages is abrupt. Furthermore, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'Even thus, elder individuals have some important contribution', where the transition word is misused. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the progression of ideas within and between paragraphs is smoother and more logical.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic descriptors like 'large number' and 'important contribution'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'skillful brain' and 'participation of the young people were high'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated vocabulary and occasional word-choice errors limit the score. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to demographics and economics, such as 'demographic dividend' or 'socio-economic development'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede fluency. Examples include 'In few countries the number of people living are mostly large number', 'Nepal government was underdevelopment', and 'Bhutan is the one of the happiest country'. These errors involve subject-verb agreement, article usage, and word form. While the meaning is usually understandable, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring correct article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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