Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, the inhabitants of few countries includes a comparatively a large number of young people comparison with the number of elderly citizen. However, i believe that the advantages of having young population outweigh the disadvantages. One major advantage is that young people can contribute significantly to the economy. They are generally energtic, physically active and willing to work. most young individuals have good skills and significant of our country and this skills will help to grow the country. For example, Most youth have brilliant mind and work with team and this will give the many benefits in different companies . therefore this skills is use for new technology good and help in hospital. further young citizen have new ideas and this is beneficial for our childerns. Another benefit is that young adults are often more open to new ideas. they also support older family members financially and emotionally. On the other hand, a young population can create some problems. If they are not enough jobs, many young people may become unemployed

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 171 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you state a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack sufficient supporting evidence or examples. The discussion on the disadvantages is particularly brief, consisting of only one sentence. To improve, you must expand each body paragraph with detailed explanations and concrete examples to fully address all parts of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the structure is weak due to the brevity of the content. While you use some cohesive devices like 'However', 'One major advantage', and 'On the other hand', the flow between sentences is often disjointed. The paragraphing is inconsistent, with some very short paragraphs that do not allow for a logical progression of ideas. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are linked more smoothly using a wider variety of cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally basic and repetitive. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'significant of our country' and 'this skills is use for new technology good'. The range of vocabulary is limited, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas clearly. You should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and improving your control over collocations. Expanding your range of synonyms and learning how to use them in context will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('inhabitants... includes'), article usage ('a large number of young people comparison'), and pluralization ('childerns'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors that impede clarity. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and spacing. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

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