Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, imple of population of some countries

Slightly many older people is compared with young individuals, although the advantage of majority of young is much more the old people, the main reason is good body or more workable.

To commence with, a high proportion of young adults can place immense pressure on a country's infrastructure and employment sector. If the supply of job seekers exceeds economic growth, countries risk high rates of youth unemployment, which can subsequently lead to increased crime rates and social unrest. Furthermore, governments must direct substantial public funds toward higher education, job training programs, and housing to accommodate not to old age people which is esthetic,. For instance, in many countries the infrastructure is incredibly increased because they spent money on there infrastructure or schooling rather than on on public expenses.

Further more, the advantages of having a young majority are far more impactful for long-term national development. First, a large workforce creates a strong tax base and drives economic output, making the nation attractive to foreign investment. Unlike aging societies that face severe labor shortages and heavy pension burdens, nations with more young people enjoy high productivity and dynamic consumer markets. Second, young adults are typically more adaptable to technological advancements, driving innovation in key sectors such as artificial intelligence, engineering, and entrepreneurship. Finally, because younger demographics generally require fewer healthcare resources than elderly populations, public funds can be redirected toward economic development and infrastructure rather than eldercare.

​Conclusion

In conclusion, while a large youth demographic requires careful government planning regarding job creation and social support systems, the benefits—namely sustained economic growth, good health rate.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a youth-heavy population. However, the introduction is significantly flawed; the first two sentences are incoherent and fail to establish a clear position or paraphrase the prompt effectively. While the body paragraphs provide relevant arguments regarding infrastructure, employment, and economic growth, the conclusion is incomplete, trailing off mid-sentence. The ideas are generally relevant, but the lack of a coherent introduction and a finished conclusion limits the development of the position. To improve, ensure that the introduction clearly outlines your stance and that the conclusion provides a full summary of your main points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay uses some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the logical flow is disrupted by the poor quality of the opening sentences, which makes the initial transition into the first body paragraph jarring. Paragraphing is present, but the abrupt ending of the conclusion negatively impacts the overall coherence of the piece. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the progression of ideas within the first paragraph is hindered by confusing phrasing. Improving the clarity of your topic sentences and ensuring a complete, well-structured conclusion would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, with some effective collocations such as 'economic output', 'technological advancements', and 'labor shortages'. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'imple of population' and 'not to old age people which is esthetic'. These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. While you demonstrate an attempt to use more sophisticated academic vocabulary, the lack of precision in the opening section suggests a need for more careful word selection. Focusing on accurate collocations and avoiding non-standard phrasing will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While there are some well-constructed sentences, such as 'If the supply of job seekers exceeds economic growth, countries risk high rates of youth unemployment', there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly in the opening paragraph. Issues include subject-verb agreement, incorrect preposition usage, and fragmented sentences. Punctuation is generally functional, but the overall control of grammar is inconsistent. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic sentence structure errors and ensure that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, especially when attempting more complex, multi-clause sentences.

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