Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

At present, many countries have a demographic profile skewed towards young adults rather than elderly citizens. I think the advantages of this situation are greater than the disadvantages.

The main advantages of young people is that young adults can work and help the economic grow. When there are more people of working age, there are more workers in the factories, offices and new businesses. This means the country can produce more goods and pay more tx to the government. For example, country like India have large population and this help them to develop their IT and service industries quickly. Another advantages is that young people are usually good at using ne technology. This helps the country to modernize and compete with other countries.

However, there are also some disadvantages. One problem is that if there are not enough jobs, many young people will be unemployed. This can lead to crime and people moving to other counties to find jobs. Another disadvantages is that there may be fewer older people to give advice and experience. Older people are important because they have knowledge and can guide younger generations. Without sufficient job opportunities, a young population may lead to social problems.

In conclusion, although having many young adults can cause problems like unemployment, I believe the benefits are stronger. A young workforce can make the economy stronger and bring new ideas. Governments should focus on creating more jobs to make sure they benefit from this young population. Young people are often more adaptable to new technology and changing job market.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant, such as economic growth and technological adaptability, and the disadvantages regarding unemployment and loss of experience are also noted. However, the development of these points is somewhat superficial. For instance, the example of India is brief and could be more deeply integrated into the argument. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your supporting points with more detailed analysis or specific evidence to ensure the argument is fully developed rather than just stated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'The main advantages', 'Another advantages', 'However', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. While the progression is generally clear, some transitions feel a bit mechanical. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing and pluralization consistency, such as 'Another advantages' (should be 'Another advantage'). Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring consistent grammatical agreement would enhance the flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'demographic profile', 'modernize', and 'adaptable'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'economic grow' (should be 'economic growth'), 'tx' (tax), and 'ne technology' (new technology). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your expression. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure you proofread for basic spelling errors, as these prevent the vocabulary from reaching a higher, more sophisticated level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and pluralization, such as 'The main advantages of young people is' (should be 'The main advantage... is') and 'country like India have' (should be 'countries like India have'). Punctuation is generally correct, but the frequency of these minor grammatical slips prevents the writing from being considered error-free. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure that your plural nouns match your verbs consistently.

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