Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Larger number of young adults creates big opportunity for the government to boost their economy as well as a few problems. In this essay I will discuss few advantages and disadvantages.

Firstly, when older peoples are out-numbered by young adults this thing means that the country have larger work-force. These young adults are likely to do hard tasks way better then the older people. And this thing boosts the economic growth of the country leading toward world's top economies. As young adults are more devoted to their work.

When young people are in-charge they can perform way better then older people by innovating new things more work spirit. Young people are more likely to take big risks and create a successful business. Their critical thinking leads them to newer and newer inventions.

Young adults do not tend to have many leaves from work due to any illness issues like older people. They are more creative at their job as they a lot more about the new technology and softwares to work on.

Secondly if a country with many young adults is not managed properly then the disadvantages may overcome all the advantages. Some major problems like unemployment may rise if new job opportunities are not created. There ay be lack of school and colleges for the young which causes illiteracy in the whole generation.

After the deep analysis of both advantages and disadvantages I have come to the conclusion, that the advantages of more young adults overweigh the disadvantages. Only if the job market and educational sector is managed well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, and a clear position is maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the claim that young adults are 'more devoted' or 'do not tend to have many leaves' is a generalization that lacks specific evidence or nuance. While the conclusion clearly states that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, the supporting arguments in the body paragraphs are repetitive, focusing heavily on the work ethic of young people rather than exploring broader societal or economic implications. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete examples or deeper analysis of the consequences of a youth-heavy population.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'This thing' and 'And this thing' are used to link sentences, which is informal and lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. Additionally, some transitions between sentences are abrupt. While the paragraphing is sufficient, the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing is more precise and formal.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision expected at higher levels. There is a reliance on basic descriptors like 'big' and 'new'. Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'have many leaves from work' (should be 'take many days off' or 'absenteeism') and 'newer and newer inventions'. There are also minor errors in collocation, such as 'innovating new things more work spirit'. To improve, you should focus on using more academic vocabulary and precise collocations that reflect the topic of demographics and economics.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the country have larger work-force'), incorrect comparative structures ('better then' instead of 'better than'), and missing articles. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some awkward phrasings that affect readability. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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