Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, some countries have more young adults then older people. In my opinion this situation has more advantages because young adults can help a country to develop fast. Because in this generation the young adults have more knowledge which helps them to find the solution of an issue fast then the old people.

The advantages of adults are, right now in this generation technology is developing very quickly and the young adults have more experience in technology then the old ones. Therefore, this helps them to find the solution of the an issue using technology. Moreover, young adults are more active and they can work more, pay taxes and can help a company and country to develop fast. For an instance young people can work more for their family then the old ones.

I will tell you about one of my experience, our family was facing financial issues. I am the only kid in my family. I get to know from somewhere that people are making money online. So i shared it with my father but he dose not know how to use technology. But i know how to use technology, so i worked on it. Moreover, i learned a skill online and then after an experience of two year working online, i opened my own e-commerce brand. After that i worked really hard and helped my family to get out of financial difficulties. As a result, we get over our financial issues and started to live a happy and independent life.

In a conclusion. having more adults in a society have some disadvantages, but i believe the advantages are greater. Young people can work, develop new ideas and help improve the economy

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the advantages of a young population outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention technology and economic contribution, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the claim that young people have more knowledge than older people is a broad generalization that could be better supported with more nuanced reasoning. The personal example provided is relevant, but it occupies a large portion of the essay, which detracts from a more balanced discussion of the societal implications. To improve, ensure that your arguments are fully extended and explore the 'disadvantages' side more thoroughly to provide a more comprehensive response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive (e.g., 'Moreover', 'Therefore', 'As a result'). Some transitions feel forced, and the logical flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by grammatical errors. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the points made in the body paragraphs. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to the main argument, creating a smoother progression of ideas throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'fast', 'good', and 'help', which limits the sophistication of your argument. There are also some awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'the advantages of adults' (which should refer to the situation of having a young population) and 'the an issue'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of more academic or precise vocabulary prevents the essay from demonstrating a higher level of lexical control. Try to incorporate more topic-specific terminology related to demographics and economics.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there is a high frequency of grammatical errors. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'he dose not know'), incorrect comparative forms (e.g., 'fast then the old people'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization of 'I'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be distracting. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and practice using complex structures like relative clauses or conditional sentences more accurately.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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