Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In several nations, young adults make up a significantly higher proportion of the population than elderly citizens. Although this situation brings problem like job issue, i think advantages are stronger because the young generation more help for economy growth and they need less health care.
On the one hand, having many young adults can create disadvantages. If the young population is increased than many of them search same jobs and unemployment also rise rapidly. Government should create more institute for young people because for future growth education is more need for youngers.
On the other hand, young adults have many advantages like they have more energy than the older ones. They have lot of potential to perform every task. In a country if adults are in larger number and all of employed than the economy is rise rapidly.
In conclusion, having larger number of young adults make more problems regarding jobs. But, i believe that having young adults is mor advantages and every country is more strong.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 167 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you have identified both advantages and disadvantages, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack specific examples or depth. For instance, the point about economic growth is mentioned but not explained with sufficient detail or logical progression. To improve, you must expand on your points by providing concrete evidence, real-world examples, or more detailed explanations to fully address the prompt. The position is clear, but the lack of length prevents a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which is a positive feature. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to signal shifts in your argument. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Some transitions are missing or awkward, such as the jump between the introduction and the first body paragraph. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next, rather than relying on simple sentence structures that feel disconnected.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on simple, repetitive terms like 'job issue', 'young people', and 'economy is rise'. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'youngers' instead of 'young people' or 'younger generation', and 'economy is rise' instead of 'economy grows'. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to demographics and economics, and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity, such as 'brings problem like job issue' (should be 'brings problems such as unemployment') and 'if adults are in larger number and all of employed' (should be 'if there is a large number of adults and they are all employed'). Punctuation and article usage are also inconsistent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, and try to construct more complex sentences with greater accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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