Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In our present days, the population of certain countries includes a larger number of young adults compared to the number of older people. May this be advantages or disadvantages, we must first weight each one. Being a part of the young adult demographic and through my personal experiences, we could form a matrix of characteristics of the young adults and towards the end, a matrix for the older people through my personal observations.

To start with, young adults in the current day are very curious and adventurous, rather than taking the obvious answers to things life, they would rather experiment and experience certain aspects of life on their own. They tend to push their limits to reach goals. Rather than taking a safe route to life and wondering what an alternate path could have been like, they would prefer taking the risk and exploring that path even if it means failing. This brings forth more creative and head strong individuals to society, people who are willing to push our limits as humans and bring upon more innovations.

However, these characteristics ofcourse don't apply to all young adults. Some tend to follow a damaged path in life due to their past experiences. It is evident that we are experiencing and all-time high rate of suicides in the current day and age which is increasing rapidly. This could be due to the lack of emotional understanding and support amongst one another or poor parental backgrounds.

Coming over to the Older generations, they tend to be much more wise and experienced compared to young adults and experience is a valuable asset. These wise people tend to have better leadership and understanding of certain situations and aspects in life which is crucial for the younger generations to survive and grow. However older generations tend to be much more narrow minded. They tend to have a static and linear view towards most aspects in life.

Now is it more advantageous to have a larger population of Young adults compared to the older people? No, it is not a matter of which age group should have a higher population as in my opinion, it does not matter. What matters is that we understand that we has a civilization needs each other to survive. Young adults needs the advice and supervision of the older demographic and the world needs the passion and creativity of the young adults. They must co-exist for us to have a good balance in our society. So overall, i would say it is better to have an equilibrium between the age groups.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt but fails to take a clear position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Instead of arguing for one side or the other, you conclude that it does not matter and that an equilibrium is needed. This avoids the core requirement of the task, which asks you to weigh the advantages against the disadvantages. While you discuss both sides, the lack of a decisive stance limits the development of your argument. To improve, ensure your introduction clearly states your position and maintain that perspective throughout the essay, rather than shifting to a neutral stance in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To start with', 'However', and 'Coming over to', which help guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes mechanical, and the transition between the discussion of young adults and the conclusion is abrupt. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'May this be advantages or disadvantages', which is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. Improving the variety and sophistication of your linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'demographic', 'innovations', and 'equilibrium'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'damaged path', 'head strong', and 'all-time high rate of suicides'. The phrase 'matrix of characteristics' is also used in a way that feels unnatural in this context. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, you need to use less common lexical items more accurately and with better attention to collocations to reach a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'May this be advantages or disadvantages' (should be 'Whether these are advantages or disadvantages'), 'we has a civilization needs' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'Young adults needs' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that your complex sentences are constructed accurately to avoid confusion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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