Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today world, the residents of some countries include a high margin of young adults as compared with the ratio of older people. Both the views along with the reasons will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with the first aspect, the reason behind this is that many countries have experienced high birth rates in the past. In addition, improvements in healthcare have reduced death rates and helped more young people to survive into adulthood. Another reason is that some countries attract young people because of better education and employment opportunities.

There are several advantages to having a large number of young population. Firstly, young adults can contribute to the economy because they form a large part of the work force. They can work in different industries , start businesses and contribute to government revenue through taxes. Secondly , young individuals are much more likely adaptable to technology and innovation which they use to built their own business and to be a entrepreneurs.

However, this situation also has some drawbacks. A large young population can put pressure on educational systems and employment areas. If there are not enough jobs, unemployment among young adults may increase, because of this government need to spend more money on education, training to support the growing population.

In conclusion, although having a large number of adults can put pressure on employment and public services, I believe the advantages are greater. A young population, provide a strong workforce and can contribute to innovation and development

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, and it provides a clear position in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the discussion on the pressure on educational systems is brief and lacks specific examples or depth. The introduction is also slightly off-target, as it promises to discuss 'both views' (implying a discussion essay) rather than explicitly stating that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which is required for a 'Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?' prompt. To reach a higher band, ensure your introduction clearly outlines your stance and expand your supporting points with more detailed explanations or real-world examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'In addition', 'Firstly', and 'However' are used to link sentences and paragraphs effectively. However, the referencing is occasionally mechanical, and the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the overall structure would benefit from more sophisticated linking phrases to improve the flow between complex ideas. Overall, the essay is easy to follow, and the logical structure is maintained throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'innovation', 'revenue', and 'workforce'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'high margin of young adults' (should be 'high proportion') and 'to be a entrepreneurs' (grammatical error). Some phrasing is also slightly unnatural, such as 'In today world'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring that word forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'In today world' (missing possessive 's'), 'young individuals are much more likely adaptable' (incorrect structure), 'used to built' (incorrect verb form after 'to'), and 'government need' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas in some instances. To achieve a higher band, you need to increase the frequency of error-free complex sentences and pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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