Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A lot of countries have younger population in as compared to with the number of old people. From my perspective ,yes this situation could outweigh the disadvantages .

There are several merits, if a country is having a youth bulge ,as younger people know how to utilize new technologies , they are extremely aware of the new technologies while, older people don't know much about technologies.

Moreover, younger people are energetic ,they have the potential to do something for their state while , older people need the pensions for their survival.

youth knows and understand fake scam on the other hand, older individuals are trapped at numerous scams.

Younger people have the talent to generate tax for their state while, older people wholly depends on the state. As state provides them with pensions.

However, if younger people are jobless this could lead to brain drain and suicidal thoughts which is hazardous for any nation to confront.

For instance , a cousin of mine , his name is Meeran ,he was predominantly extremely talented guy who wanted to do something for his country , he was a topper at his school ,college and at the university, after his graduation , he was jobless for almost three years. He then decided to go abroad ,he went to a foreign country , initiated a business and after six months he became a billionaire. Today he provides the state with vast amount of tax . His taxes run almost three to four major cities.

In a nutshell, younger people have the upper hand to do something for their country as compared to older people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a youth-heavy population. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments regarding technology and taxes are repetitive and lack depth, often relying on generalizations rather than nuanced analysis. The example provided about the cousin is overly personal and anecdotal, which is less effective in an academic essay than broader socio-economic examples. While a position is clear, the supporting points are somewhat simplistic and lack the necessary academic rigor to reach a higher band. To improve, you should focus on developing each point with more logical explanation and evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into short paragraphs, but the flow between sentences is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes misused, such as the frequent and awkward use of commas before 'while' and 'as'. The transition between the advantages and the disadvantage (brain drain) is abrupt. Paragraphing is present, but the structure within the paragraphs is weak, making the progression of ideas feel repetitive rather than cumulative. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There is noticeable repetition of words like 'technologies', 'state', and 'younger/older people'. Some word choices are imprecise or unnatural, such as 'fake scam' (redundant) and 'trapped at numerous scams' (incorrect preposition). The essay relies on basic vocabulary to convey ideas, and there is little evidence of less common lexical items or idiomatic expressions. To improve, focus on using synonyms to avoid repetition and learn collocations that are more natural in an academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. Issues include incorrect article usage ('a younger population'), subject-verb agreement ('older people wholly depends'), and run-on sentences or comma splices. Punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with comma placement around conjunctions. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of grammatical slips prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence boundary control and basic grammatical accuracy will help improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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