Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the present era, there are significant increase in the population of young adults in different countries, if compared with the population of older people in such countries. I strongly agree with this point of view that benefits are more important than the drawbacks.

One of the main advantage of this situation is that the increasing population of young adults cause the growth of countries economic. If there are too much young people in the country, the employes of companies are more energetic. In such case, they work more than the older employes. For instance, in recent years, a survey shows that those countries who have more younger employes, have more strong economic than the other countries where old people are in more numbers.

Moreover, the young people adapt new technologies easier and faster than the older people, which is also a important benefit of this situation. In contrast, there are also drawbacks of this kind of situation, which cannot be easily ignored. The countries who have larger number of young adults cannot provide more jobs to them. Due to this reason, unemployment rate of the country increased and youth generation can be against of country. For example, according to the recent published newspaper in USA, the crime rate of USA increased due to unemployment and young people face financial problems.

To sum up, while youth generation faces drawbacks such as risk of unemployment, its advantages are more significant such as economic dynamism and technology innovation. Ultimately, I strongly agree that benefits outweigh the drawbacks because young people are important for the future of any nation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant, such as economic growth and technological adaptation, and the counter-argument regarding unemployment is also addressed. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the claim that young employees are more energetic is a generalisation that could be better supported with more specific reasoning or nuanced examples. While the position is clear throughout, the supporting arguments could be extended further to reach a higher band, as they currently rely on somewhat simplistic assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organised into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'In contrast', and 'To sum up' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, the use of these devices is occasionally mechanical or slightly repetitive. Referencing is generally clear, though some transitions between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother to improve the flow of ideas. Overall, the structure is coherent, and the progression of the argument is easy to follow, meeting the requirements for a band 6.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'economic dynamism' and 'technological innovation'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'growth of countries economic' instead of 'economic growth' and 'more strong economic' instead of 'a stronger economy'. These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the range and precision of the language, keeping the score within the band 6 range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('there are significant increase', 'young adults cause the growth') and article usage ('the young people', 'the unemployment rate'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. The student demonstrates an ability to construct complex sentences, but the control over these structures is inconsistent, which is characteristic of a band 6 performance.

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