Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In the 21st century, China and India are known for their huge population. However, India has the largest population of young people and China has big number bourgeois of old people. In my side their are several advantages of having young adults in country.
on the one hand, In nation having a young adults have good opportunities to make country stronger. as a epitome, in India there are many young citizens, and they all are choose different fields make them future brighter many Indians select to study in Health care, financial, app developer, engineer, IT programs it helps to growth of country. not faster but slowly government makes country stronger by taxes. Furthermore, in China the proportion of old individuals are higher than young individuals. it may effect on country's economy, and some times it impact on people's health. for example in 2020 whole world survive from covid-19. In addition the country with older people it has 99% possibility to effect on them. their body not capable to recover.
on the other hand, nation with young people, if there is any situation like covid-19. young people were capable to survive and heal themselves. their body helps to recover them because of immunity system.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 203 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing the advantages of a young population, the discussion is underdeveloped and lacks a clear, sustained position. The comparison between India and China is somewhat tangential, and the argument regarding COVID-19 is not clearly linked to the broader economic or social advantages/disadvantages requested by the prompt. The conclusion is missing, and the overall response is too brief to fully explore the complexities of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear structure. There is no introduction or conclusion, and the paragraphing is inconsistent. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'on the one hand' and 'furthermore', they are often used incorrectly or in a mechanical way that does not improve the flow of ideas. The progression of arguments is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's line of reasoning. The lack of clear topic sentences and logical transitions between the points about India, China, and the pandemic further hinders coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'big number bourgeois of old people' and 'as a epitome'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas clearly. Basic errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'it helps to growth of country' instead of 'it helps the growth of the country', are frequent. The student relies on simple, repetitive language, which restricts the ability to convey a sophisticated argument.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the proportion of old individuals are higher'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'in India there are many young citizens, and they all are choose different fields make them future brighter'. The range of grammatical structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with errors. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and comma usage.
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