Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is seen that in many countries, the population of young adults are more than those of older people. This may be due to the increase in reproductive rate or an increase in the death rate of older people.
As such a problem arises, it's necessary to understand its advantages and disadvantages and if this harms the balance in our society. The advantages projected through this situation are that more people are available for labour and other job. Human resources can be made use to the maximum. This also involves the introduction of many new technologies and innovations. When several people among the same age group joins their hands together, they would come up with brilliant ideas.
As we talk about the advantages, lines up a list of disadvantages. With the increase in the population of the youth, job opportunities will be dwindling and many people would remain unemployed. This also means that competition in the economy rises resulting in fights among themselves. There aren't that many opportunities that can be presented to these many people this the best snatches their opportunity and saves their life.
These conflicts can ofcourse cause a disadvantage and may even outweigh the advantages. For example, the fight between a job opportunity presented to two parties A and B. Party A must have worked hard but had stage fear and was able to present well whereas party B who didn't work as much as hard as party A wasnt afraid of being on stage and facing people, this was able to perform well. Party B might have got the job opportunity. So in this world full of competition it's important to hold in and try your best to find your potential and act towards it without fear.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of a youth-heavy population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding 'fights among themselves' due to competition is not fully explored or linked clearly to the broader societal impact. The example provided about 'Party A and Party B' is anecdotal and lacks the analytical depth required for an Academic Task 2 essay, as it focuses on individual job interviews rather than the macroeconomic or social implications of a demographic imbalance. To improve, you should provide more substantial evidence or logical reasoning regarding the long-term economic or social consequences of this demographic shift.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the transition between ideas is sometimes mechanical or abrupt. For example, the phrase 'As we talk about the advantages, lines up a list of disadvantages' is awkward and lacks natural flow. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices, they are sometimes used incorrectly or in a way that makes the sentences feel disjointed. The progression of ideas within paragraphs could be improved by using more varied linking words to connect the cause and effect of the demographic situation more smoothly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range expected at higher bands. You rely on somewhat simplistic phrasing, such as 'joins their hands together' or 'saves their life,' which are not idiomatic in this context. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'reproductive rate' (usually 'birth rate') and 'the best snatches their opportunity.' To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more academic vocabulary related to demographics and economics, such as 'workforce participation,' 'demographic dividend,' or 'socio-economic pressure,' and ensure that your word choices are more precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'the population of young adults are' should be 'is,' and 'this the best snatches their opportunity' is grammatically incoherent. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and awkward phrasing, such as 'wasnt afraid of being on stage and facing people, this was able to perform well.' While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic agreement errors would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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