Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some countries the population includes large number of young adults comparing to the number of older people in nowadays. This task will provide the advantages and disadvantages of this situation.

The population is growing in many countries of the world. But it is shocking that the young adults number is increasing where the number of older people is decreasing. The increase of young people in the country can make the prosperous and make the country’s future in good hand. The young people can add value in the long term and they can add positive energy in the society. As of many countries socio-economic condition will be grow in near future as well as their economy. They have the energy to make their country’s future in good hand. They can be able to make their environment and the society in good hand.

But the disease as well as other reasons the old people number is decreasing compared to young people. The old people are the jewel of the society as their knowledge and talks can help the younger one's to achieve great virtue in life. The knowledge and their life journey can inspire the younger one's because of their population decrease they are unable to do that. Moreover this indicates higher mortality rate which can be crucial for the society. The older people's thinking and their ability to inspire the younger one's and their ability to able to tell them the history of the country is missed by the new borns.

As of many countries in the world with this problem like African nations facing this problem by a great margin which affects their economy and socio-economic condition.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention that young people bring energy and economic growth, the points are repetitive and lack specific examples or depth. The discussion on the disadvantages is somewhat confused, as it conflates the decline of older people with the increase of young people, rather than focusing on the implications of a demographic imbalance. To improve, ensure each paragraph explores a distinct, well-supported argument rather than restating the same point multiple times.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. Transitions between ideas are often mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'in good hand' and 'as of many countries'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of the argument. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices, they are often used inaccurately or in a way that does not effectively link the ideas. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence builds logically on the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'in good hand' are used incorrectly and appear multiple times, which detracts from the quality of the writing. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'the disease as well as other reasons' which is not a natural way to introduce a point. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is not sufficient to demonstrate the flexibility required for higher bands. You should focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'young adults number is increasing'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the young people can make the prosperous'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of apostrophes in 'younger one's'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to cause difficulty for the reader. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips will help improve your score.

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