Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Today, growing population have an important role to play in development of nation and compete with global competitions. In several countries, the number of young adults are more than the older people. From my perspective, although both the age group have significant merits, benefits of youth are greater.
On the one hand, the working age population are essential to fascilitate growth. Well educated youth can participate and adapt easily in sophisticated technology and research projects. For instance, nowadays variety of unique ideas and experiments are needed in every fields like- education, medical science, artificial intelligence and robotics. Younger people with modern mindset can contribute to these fields. Eventually, to strengthen economy of a company younger workforce is important due to their active participation, high productivity as well as curiosity of explore the demaning and challanging projects. As a worldwide market is growing, expertise of skilled youthful workers is crucial for a country to achieve a valuable position among others.
On the other hand, it is difficult for geriatric population to accept the developing technology and learn new techniques, because neuroplasticity of the brain decreases with the age, which might be affect their thinking abilities. Meanwhile, governments require highly active and capable workers. After all, increase in senior citizens can results in labour shortage, financial burden and higher dependency ratio. For example, governments serve multiple polices and pension offers for them, which ultimately hampers financial status of the country.
To sum up, although experience of older people is important for nation, advantages of the younger adults are more in overall development of a country.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages of a younger population outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant, such as the role of youth in technological advancement and the economic burden of an aging population. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While the points regarding technology and economic productivity are clear, the discussion on the 'geriatric population' is slightly generalized and relies on a somewhat negative stereotype regarding neuroplasticity. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced examples or a more balanced exploration of the social contributions of older generations to fully develop the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the two sides of the argument. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'To sum up' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the abrupt transition in the first paragraph regarding 'global competitions.' Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'neuroplasticity,' 'dependency ratio,' and 'sophisticated technology.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and minor errors, such as 'fascilitate' (spelling), 'every fields' (grammar/collocation), and 'curiosity of explore' (should be 'curiosity to explore'). Additionally, 'geriatric population' is a somewhat clinical term that feels slightly out of place in this context. To improve, focus on more precise collocations and ensure that less common vocabulary is used with greater accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that persist throughout the text. Examples include 'growing population have' (subject-verb agreement), 'number of young adults are' (subject-verb agreement), 'can results in' (modal verb error), and 'serve multiple polices' (word choice/spelling). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of hyphens and commas. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent verb forms will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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