Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It has been observed that population in some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. beside it is a fact that there are myraid of benefits as well as drawback of this. some pros and cons are elaborated further in paragraph.

examining the brighter side, as there are more young in population in some countries as compared to older. it is good for this global world to have more younger because they can help in the development of world moreover they play essential role in academics and become professional in their fields. they better know today technology than older people and have more knowlage and skills.

on the contrary, the darker side is they bring new trends and lost every good thing in this new world. they encourage others to do bad but trendy things. they use vulgar and bad words to look like sigma. while older are simple and live happy life however young people don't have those manners because they influence by actors, social media and influencer.

I personally believe that more population of younger than older will miss lead the world and bring something new that will destroy the world. for example, my grandma taught me how to plant a tree and get free fruit only with planting a tree however young person cannot tell their children about planting a tree they will first watch a video then they will tell this about their children. eventually, my opinion is there are equal merits and demerits of young people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the pros and cons of a young population. However, the development of ideas is limited and often relies on subjective, unsupported claims, such as the assertion that young people 'encourage others to do bad' or 'use vulgar words to look like sigma'. The position is somewhat contradictory, as the introduction suggests a balanced view, but the conclusion leans heavily toward a negative outlook. To improve, you should provide more objective, analytical arguments regarding economic growth, innovation, or the strain on social services, rather than focusing on personal anecdotes or generalizations about social media influence.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is weak. Transitions are often missing or misused, such as 'beside it is a fact' and 'examining the brighter side'. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Cohesive devices are used in a mechanical and sometimes incorrect way. To improve, focus on using linking words like 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in contrast' to connect sentences and ideas more naturally, and ensure each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with several instances of incorrect word choice and spelling errors, such as 'myraid', 'knowlage', and 'miss lead'. The use of informal or slang terms like 'sigma' is inappropriate for an academic essay. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas with precision. To improve, you should expand your range of academic vocabulary and focus on correct spelling and collocations. Avoid colloquialisms and strive for a more formal, objective tone throughout your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('population... include'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'as there are more young in population in some countries as compared to older. it is good...'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and incorrect capitalization. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors causes some difficulty for the reader. You need to focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.