Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is widely acknowledged that, in this modern era in many nations the number of population especially youngsters increased significantly than older people. In this essay first i will discuss merits and demerits related to this than deduce whether there advantages outweigh the drawbacks. There are several benefits if younger population are more than older. First and foremost, the economy of that nation relatively more than another nation, because their productivity and work rate were higher. Moreover, the government have not much pressure on heath care system they just give their more attention to education and sport system . Another advantage is, that country will technically more advanced and make more cooperate with each other. As a good example, in school children in their same age group have more relate with each other or build their skills team work, communication and developed more innovative ideas, which they implement in their future life. On the flip side, there has some negative consequences . To commence with, more younger population that country face many challenges such as competition in studies, workplace and sports significantly increased and the population face poverty, unemployment and many more thinks . Secondly, small number of older people may less experienced employees and no one have guide to new generation, which causes younger people not decide effective decisions in their life because of less experience and not any supervision. In conclusion, it is apparent from the above discussion that, there have some bad consequences if the countries has less experience people. But the advantages outweigh the drawbacks, because younger people enhance their productivity and economy rate.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, and a clear position is maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding the economy is stated but not fully explained with specific evidence or logical progression. The point about the healthcare system is also underdeveloped. While the response covers all parts of the task, the supporting arguments lack depth and specific examples, which prevents it from reaching a higher band. The conclusion clearly states the writer's position, but the overall analysis remains at a surface level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'First and foremost', 'Moreover', and 'On the flip side', although some transitions feel mechanical or slightly repetitive. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as the transition between the discussion of school children and the broader point about innovation. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'many more thinks' instead of 'many other issues' and 'no one have guide' instead of 'no one to provide guidance'. While the meaning is generally clear, the vocabulary is somewhat basic and repetitive. The student attempts to use some academic vocabulary, but the collocations are often inaccurate, which limits the ability to convey complex ideas with nuance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('the government have', 'population... increased'), missing articles ('in school children'), and awkward sentence construction ('the economy of that nation relatively more than another nation'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and suggest a lack of control over more complex grammatical forms.

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