Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In present time, population of young people escalating day by day but older individuals number are declining. There are numerous demerits and few merits which i will explain in following paragraphs.

To the begun with, older people are very essential in youngsters live because they have alot of knowledge regarding our tradition and culture due to this, we can speak knowledge from them and touch with roots of their tradition if there population will decline so it will put negative impact on youngsters life. Nevertheless, youngsters will not respect to each other becaus they do not earn moral values and also prefer to live in cities.

On the other hand, Technology is increasing in these days so youngsters can make their country according to their taste and can use more technology because there are less number of older people so they don’t feel any difficulty.

To conclude, Although there are some pore but coins are more.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 156 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the prompt asks whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, the response provides only a very brief and superficial discussion. The arguments regarding the loss of tradition and the benefits of technology are underdeveloped and lack specific examples or logical depth. The position is stated but not sustained or supported with sufficient evidence, leading to a fragmented response that does not fully address the complexity of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'To the begun with' and 'Although there are some pore but coins are more.' The latter is an attempt at an idiom that is garbled and fails to function as a clear concluding summary. Referencing is often unclear, and the transition between ideas is abrupt, making the overall structure feel disjointed rather than a cohesive argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'speak knowledge from them' and 'touch with roots of their tradition.' The phrase 'pore but coins are more' is an unsuccessful attempt to use an idiom, which obscures the intended meaning. Basic vocabulary is used throughout, and there is little evidence of the ability to use less common lexical items or precise terminology to discuss the demographic shift described in the prompt.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede clarity. Examples include 'population of young people escalating' (missing article/verb), 'older individuals number are declining' (subject-verb agreement), and 'youngsters will not respect to each other' (incorrect verb usage). There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the simple sentences used are often marred by punctuation and syntax errors. The high frequency of errors throughout the text indicates a lack of control over basic grammatical forms.

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