Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays some countries includes a relatively large proportion of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Although there are some challenges for this, because unemployment rate and public services, I believe that advantages out weight the disadvantages, because a younger people can contribute more to economical growth.

There are a lot of advantages for having young people in counties. A large young population means more people of working age and more working hours. Young people can work more than the older people and young generation has more technical ideas than older peoples. For example, in office a old people can rarely work 8 hours, but a young people can work more and even extra time with more advance ideas in the office. Young adults are more willing to start a business and adopt new technology. It will experience the country with rapid economic development. They can also contribute to areas such as technology, science and entrepreneurship.

A major disadvantages of having a large number of young population is the increased pressure on the job market. When the number of young population is higher than the number of available jobs, it becomes difficult to find employment. Many younger adults suffer for jobs. Family put them a lot of pressure for jobs, but they are helpless. Moreover a large number of population can put pressure on education, healthcare and housing. For example, developing county may struggle to provide enough educational institute or places for the students. Healthcare and housing crisis will also seen at the same time.

In conclusion, a large younger adults can bring some problems such as, Housing crisis, unemployment and pressure on public services, but the advantages outweigh disadvantages. Large young adults will provide more economical growth with more working age. They will also contribute in country development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task and maintains a clear position throughout. The arguments regarding economic growth and the challenges of unemployment and public services are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the comparison between 'old people' and 'young people' in the workplace is overly simplistic and lacks nuance. To reach a higher band, you should provide more sophisticated reasoning and avoid over-generalizations. While the position is clear, the supporting evidence could be more detailed and analytical to fully explore the implications of a youthful population.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'For example', 'Moreover', 'In conclusion'). Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'It will experience the country with rapid economic development,' which is grammatically awkward and lacks a clear antecedent. Improving the variety and natural flow of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'a old people' instead of 'an older person' and 'experience the country' instead of 'drive the country's development'. The repetition of basic terms like 'young people' and 'population' limits the range. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of more sophisticated or academic vocabulary prevents the essay from demonstrating a wider lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('some countries includes', 'a young people can'), article usage ('a old people'), and pluralization ('a large number of population'). While the meaning is usually understandable, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction are noticeable. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, and try to incorporate more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

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