Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults that is the positive change in the population of that countries. I believe that the larger the number of young adults it will more helpful to the countries growth and also helps to fulfil the shortage of manpower in that countries. Young Adults are more energetic and courged can do the work more faster than the old people.
The old people are unabale to perform their routine task and their jobs with energy and they more time than the young people. The peoples play key role in the countries development and wellbeing so they are very beneficial for their countries and on the other side old peoples got retired from jobs and government paid then monthly stipend for their living.
The countries with young adults growup more easily and financially stable because they get jobs in their countries and paid taxes to the government.At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to address the prompt effectively. While you identify that young adults are beneficial for economic growth, the essay is severely underdeveloped. You have not provided a balanced discussion of the disadvantages, which is a requirement of the 'do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages' prompt. Furthermore, the essay contains significant repetition of the prompt text at the end, which does not contribute to the argument. To improve, ensure you provide a clear position, support it with specific examples, and address both sides of the argument before concluding. The current structure is fragmented and lacks the depth required for a high band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay lacks logical progression. Paragraphing is present but the content within the paragraphs is repetitive and lacks clear topic sentences. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas; for example, the transition between the benefits of young adults and the drawbacks of older people is abrupt. The most significant issue is the inclusion of the prompt text repeated multiple times at the end of the essay, which disrupts the flow entirely and indicates a lack of control over the structure. To improve, focus on using transition words like 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'on the other hand' to connect your thoughts logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive. You rely on simple terms like 'good', 'work', and 'people' throughout the text. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'courged' (likely meant 'courageous' or 'energetic') and 'paid then monthly stipend' (should be 'pays them a monthly stipend'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas about demographics or economics. To improve, try to incorporate topic-specific vocabulary such as 'workforce participation', 'economic productivity', 'pension burden', or 'demographic dividend' to demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
There are frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. Examples include 'that is the positive change' (should be 'which is a positive change'), 'the larger the number... it will more helpful' (incorrect comparative structure), and 'old peoples' (should be 'older people'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods in several places. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and practicing complex sentence structures such as conditional sentences or relative clauses to add variety and accuracy to your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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