Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's world, the population of young people become a high compared with older generation and this has more advantages than drawbacks. This essay will describe all points.

Nowadays, younger population are more while elder people are less in overall and these has many benefits in terms of economic and social. First, more younger people directly reflect high productivity as they have more energy for work along with skills. People contribute more toward their nation when they are young and energetic and this effect on economical growth. For instant, a large amount of population working together in order to economical growth. As a result, developing countries explore more opportunities and reach success levels like other developed nations.

Another advantage is that if older people are less means government used to spent less amount on their pensions and they can invest those money for better development. As elder people are most likely to been retired from their jobs and providing them to money in from of pension, is like invest money without expectation. So less retired people means few money spend on their selves.

Although this trend has more benefits, but there is some drawbacks as more young people require large number of job vacancies and government might not able to provide work for all people. As a result, unemployment increase and crime rate also rise because of poverty. Another disadvantage is that elder people have more work experience compare to youngsters and companies are more search for this but where experienced older people are less, they might loss few things in terms of growth.

In conclusion, having one generation is more is quite difficult for any nation, but more young adults are helpful for any country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding pension savings is a relevant point, but it is expressed with some confusion, such as 'invest money without expectation'. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not effectively summarise the main points or restate the position clearly. To improve, you should aim to expand on your supporting examples with more specific detail or logical explanation to ensure the reader fully understands the implications of your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'First', 'Another advantage', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as 'these has many benefits' or 'this effect on economical growth'. The use of cohesive devices is sometimes repetitive or slightly awkward, which occasionally disrupts the smooth progression of ideas. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clear pronoun references would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on basic phrasing, such as 'high compared with' or 'less means government used to spent'. There are also some word-choice errors, such as 'economical growth' (should be 'economic growth') and 'providing them to money in from of pension'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of more sophisticated or academic vocabulary limits the score. Incorporating more precise collocations and academic terminology would significantly improve your lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('population of young people become', 'younger population are'), article usage, and tense consistency ('elder people are most likely to been retired'). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are clunky due to grammatical slips. To reach a higher band, you need to focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentence structures are constructed accurately without frequent errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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